


Slaves

by Perniciouswolf



Category: Kylo Ren - Fandom, Star Wars
Genre: Bare with me there will be smut and fluffy crap, Eventual Smut, F/M, Kylo Ren PoV, Original Character POV, Slaves, Slow Build, Smut, The Force Awakens, hux is a perv, i enjoy character development, slightly dominant female
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-02-01
Updated: 2016-02-12
Packaged: 2018-05-17 14:23:43
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 21
Words: 35,833
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5873917
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Perniciouswolf/pseuds/Perniciouswolf
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Arema, raised as a slave, gets a rude awakening when her planet is visited by the first order and comes face to face with Kylo Ren. He's instantly taken by her and detects the force in her, she however isn't too keen on the idea.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

_I am 23; a slave. Bound to a small village on a somewhat desolate planet with no concrete plans for the future other than getting out of the hellhole of a hut my master and I occupy. Most women my age have started families or what could be considered a career. I spend my days in monotony, not expecting any deviation from the norm. Until the ships landed._

****************

The early morning light cuts through the window above my cot like an overly excited animal begging to be greeted. I instantly groan and roll over in attempt to shield myself from its pervasiveness. The shackles on my wrists cut in under my body and I slowly open my eyes.  
"Why...?"  
I know I have chores to get started but this particular morning is one where my body doesn't want to comply.  
It's quiet. Usually by this time one can't escape the hurried sounds of people outside busy at work, either doing their jobs or trying to steal from someone who is doing their job. This sort of silence couldn't mean that everyone in the village actually decided to try and sleep peacefully until an okay hour for once.  
I pull myself out of bed, stretching my limbs, and slowly shuffle my way into the main area of the hut.  
Matthias is gone. His bed is empty and the pots above the area I cook his food in hang nonchalantly, untouched. On rare occasions he has been known to break one out himself if he's in a particularly good mood, allowing me to sleep in a little.  
As I just start to contemplate going back to bed the front door bursts open, assaulting the hinges that attach it to the wall.  
"Arema!"  
It's Matthias. He's out of breath which, let's be honest, is normal. He's an older man, maybe in his 40's but his greasy demeanor and lack of motivation to do anything hasn't been kind on his figure.  
"They're here, Arema. They're here."  
I'm honestly not even awake yet.  
"Who's here Matthias? It can't be that bad, you don't even have in-laws."  
I'm thrown a dagger stare.  
"This isn't time for jokes Arema. The ships were seen landing last night." More huffing. "First Order ships."  
I'd heard rumors of the First Order. I knew close to nothing of the Jedi or the Order or any of it. Just bits and pieces of information I'd overheard on my way to and from places. I did know that the First Order wasn't something you wanted to cross. That it was led by a man who could kill at the blink of an eye and wouldn't hesitate to do so. At this point my concern is growing.  
"Wait...why? What do they want? What are they doing here?"  
By now Matthias has chosen a bent over position with his hands on his knees, still struggling to catch his breath. Sad, really.  
"How am I supposed to know what they fucking want Arema? Probably looking for something."  
Screams. This is the last conscious thought I had before everything went to hell. I could hear the desperate cries of villagers, some begging, some using everything they had to make whatever sounds their vocal chords would produce. I could smell the beginnings of fire and I could hear the sharp booms of weapons, punching holes in walls and whatever else was on the receiving end of their barrels.  
I was frozen to the spot. I'd never so much as been in a fight, how was I supposed to know how to react? I could make a mean loaf of bread, but defense was not my forte. I could faintly hear Matthias's raspy voice shouting things in my direction as he scurried around the hut gathering articles of clothing and pointless possessions. I'd call him an idiot for it but I was simply standing there. Maybe I was the idiot.  
When I finally started to mechanically move in the direction of my cot, the door was thrown open for the second time that morning. The hinges gave way this time, and all I could do was stare, slowly backing myself into the wall behind me. At the entrance of the doorway stood two men, I assume, in white armor. Their faces were covered with helmets and they each held their weapons in front of them, ready to annihilate whatever laid in their path. Matthias sputtered and threw himself onto the ground in a sort of mock bow. The soldiers move to the side to make way for a tall figure, dressed in all black, radiating everything that was evil.  
My tongue felt like it had dried to the roof of my mouth.  _This must be him. This must be the leader everyone fears._  
The second this thought comes into my head, I regret it. The figure in black moves forward into the hut, confirming that he is in fact human. His movements are lithe and fluid, and I presume his gaze to be locked onto me, however I can't be sure for he has a sort of helmet on as well.  
Matthias begins to sputter words out of his mouth like vomit.  
"Kylo Ren! I haven't done anything I swear! Please spare me. Here," he exclaims, throwing his arms in my direction. "Take the slave girl! She makes wonderful bread!"  
Kylo Ren.  
Throughout Matthias's pleading and sacrificial offering of myself, Kylo Ren's head never so much as nodded in his direction, his gaze continuously locked on me. The following silence from him was deafening, and I was faintly aware of Matthias's attempt at sobbing. Days could have passed and I wouldn't have known. Finally, Kylo Ren simply lifted an arm in Matthias's direction, and he was thrown into the wall behind him. He clawed at his own throat, struggling to breathe, and in the space of a minute he was still.  
"You're welcome."  
His voice was a deep distortion. I wondered what kind of person could kill someone so effortlessly and instantaneously. I wracked my brain trying to find something close to remorse for Matthias, but something deep inside me stirred. I was fascinated. Don't get me wrong, I didn't enjoy that people were dying and the closest thing I had to family was laying dead on the other end of the room. But something was different. Almost like all the years and turmoils I had experienced had combined together to meet this crescendo of an event like a warm embrace.  
Silence. It was beginning to be a nuisance and a comfort all at once. I found I could think and move clearly once more, shifting in place and swallowing confidently. I fixed my gaze onto Ren's, ready for the blow but finding myself studying the finite lines and dents in his helmet instead. It was intriguing and terrifying all at once. Everything about him was dark and haunting, apart from the smooth silver lines surrounding the slits in his mask to allow his vision. Yes, I was terrified. But I was curious.

 


	2. Kylo Ren

I wasn't expecting her. If I could describe a human as perfect she would be the textbook example. I walked into the hut expecting to do away with its inhabitants like I had with the others, but I found myself dead in my tracks, rooted to the spot. There was a pathetic, squat old man on the floor begging for mercy, but I barely noticed him.  
_This must be him. This must be the leader everyone fears._  
Her thoughts practically shoved their way into my head and my attention immediately snapped to her. She had shackles on her wrists, clearly the sobbing man's slave. I hardly noticed these minute details, having been distracted by her herself. Her hair was black as night, free flowing down just below her breasts, my gaze pausing on this particular area for a heart beat too long. I was suddenly more thankful for my mask than I'd ever been before. Her eyes were an intense liquid silver, shocking against her pale skin.  
My silence caught me off guard and I found myself nervous for the first time in a while which in turn only fueled my natural ability toward aggression. I killed her owner without so much as a thought about it. The look on her face almost resembled being impressed.

  
"You're welcome," is the simplest thing I could come up with. I could feel her growing adoration of me, but she was certainly confused. Torn with the task of feeling fear or interest. I chose this time to sift through her thoughts and memories, but was hit with a wall when moving toward her adolescence. Someone had wiped her memory. She didn't seem to realize what I was doing and as I was gearing myself to speak once more, the most intense hint of a power launched itself into my mind from hers. She was force sensitive. This is putting it in the most simplest of terms. The amount of potential power in her was shocking, and she was certainly unaware of it. Nothing in her mind indicated that she had any knowledge or had ever used this ability, but I knew supreme leader Snoke would be nothing short of interested. My desire to show her what she could be, she and I together, became a rabid animal. The sudden passion I held for it strengthening me more than it had in a while.  
"What's your name?"  
She jumped slightly, torn from her thoughts and studies of me.  
".....Arema."  
I decided to show off a little, puffing my chest out with pride, and spoke to her through my thoughts.  
_Were you ever aware of your certain possession of the force?_  
Her eyes grew wide with shock. She wasn't expecting to hear me this way. She remained rendered speechless and fidgeted uncomfortably.  
"What are you talking about?" She spoke out loud, choosing to voice her response rather than project her thoughts as I did. Yes, she was most certainly unaware of any talents.  
_Speak to me through your mind._  
Silence.  
"Did you get it or...."  
I almost choked out a laugh at this. Her eyes slid over to look at the still form of her former master.  
"Why did you kill him?"  
This I was not expecting.  
"He was worthless. A worm. Would rather I have let him continue his disgusting pleas?"  
She seemed to mull this over.  
"No."  
I smiled beneath my mask. Snoke would be pleased. There was no place for her among the Jedi and I was glad I'd made this precious discovery first. Her entire being seeped with passion, just what she would need to wield her force on the dark side with ease.  
"Come with me," I simply stated.  
"Okay hold on a second. You pillage and burn down my entire village. You come here unannounced with an army. And you expect me to willingly go with you? If death is what you're planning for me, then get it over with. I'm sure you and your men have better things to occupy your time with."  
She was perfect.  
With a wave of my hand her shackles fell to the floor. She stared at them in awe at her feet, and a twitch of a smile crossed her lips. I knew she was beyond curious and the pride I felt was overwhelming. Rubbing her red wrists, she forced a step forward. A few more, and she was standing in front of me.  
"Will I be a prisoner?"  
I smiled in secret again.  
"No. You will be powerful."


	3. Arema

The walk from the only home I'd ever known, or remembered, to the first order ships was grueling. Kylo Ren stayed quite a distance in front of everyone, a sure sign of his status. I was surrounded by his soldiers, all with their weapons held at ease across the front of their bodies. They knew nobody would challenge them today. I hadn't eaten or had so much as a sip of water since waking up and my stomach growled in protest. My mouth was unbearably dry, and when I tried to speak up to voice these concerns, I was met with complete and utter silence.

The second I saw the ship, any thought of me talking completely vanished. What kind of place would this be inside? I imagined all sorts of horrors and monsters, knowing I was being ridiculous, but not putting it past these people. I didn't know exactly what they were capable of. He said I wouldn't be held a prisoner, but my hopes of comfort were soon erased when I saw where I'd be staying. I knew that this was just the transport phase, hoping that I might be given better quarters wherever we were going, but the room they stuck me in was less than impressive. I had no idea where Kylo Ren had gone to. He'd separated from the party of soldiers escorting me as soon as we boarded the gargantuan ship. I was led down a series of hallways, all with the same monochromatic theme, and wondered how in hell these people were able to differentiate one hall from the next. Just as the look of this place, the feeling was all the same no matter where we walked. It was cold and eerie, no room for any cheerful feelings and I felt any hopes I had of being in a better situation squandered.

We finally arrived at the room I assumed I'd be staying in for the duration of our flight. Maybe this wasn't so much as a flight as it was where I would be spending the rest of my days. Sighing, I crossed my fingers that it wouldn't be so bad, however as soon as the door slid open, my hopes were short lived. It was, you guessed it, a metal room. All grey tones with a cot fit for a prisoner and a small bathroom complete with a shower and toilet. Wonderful.   
Without so much as a 'hey have a good day you're not a prisoner,' the men in white armor left with no words or so much as a glance back. I curled up on my cot waiting for the tears to come, but none ever did. I was used to situations like this and I was sure I could handle anything thrown my way. Growing up with Matthias was a struggle all on its own.

I don't know how long I laid there. It could have been days or simply hours. When the ship launched I could feel the only home I had ever known growing more distant. All it took was a matter of minutes. A few short minutes for this dark man to invade the space I'd called home for years and tell me I had the force. I really didn't know anything about it. I'd heard brief tales of heroics and evils that went about the galaxies and I was sure I'd heard the words 'the force' before. But how did I possibly possess something that I had no knowledge of?

A few sharp raps at the metal door of my room interrupted these thoughts, and I abruptly sat up, not wanting to be in a vulnerable position.   
"Come in..?" I was uncertain what I was supposed to say.   
The door slid open and I didn't need to see his face to know it was Kylo Ren himself, I knew from the sheer feeling of his presence. 

  
"I wasn't requesting permission, I was simply letting you know of my presence before I decided to enter your quarters," he replied slyly.   
He moved himself into my room slowly and I felt him eyeing me beneath his mask. I felt exposed. I couldn't hide anything from this man if I tried.  
"What am I doing here? Really?"  
His head cocked to the side a bit, almost like he was confused.   
I took a deep breath.   
"And I think your soldiers took me to the wrong room. You clearly stated I wasn't a prisoner."  
"Storm Troopers," he replied.   
I was beginning to get irritated. "What the fuck are you talking about?"  
He let out a distorted attempt at what I believed to be a chuckle. "The 'soldiers' are called Storm Troopers, and you're here, because you have the force running through you more strongly than I've seen in a long time. You just aren't very aware of it."  
I laughed at this.   
"You got the wrong girl _Kylo Ren_. I barely know what the force even is how am I in possession of it? And you never graced me with a response about my living situation."  
"Your _living situation_ is unimportant at this time," he sneered. "But if it's any consolation this cell is simply where you will be kept until we arrive at Starkiller Base. There, I think you will find your living situation to be much more....adequate."

Starkiller Base. What the hell was going on here?

"And what of your plans with me?"  
He shifts his weight from one foot to the other as if in contemplation of how much information he wanted to reveal.   
"So long as it's seen fit, you will undergo training...as an apprentice."  
This shocks me. An apprentice? Just how talented did this man think I was? What if my abilities in the force proved to be as dormant as ever?   
"Then you will be disposed of," he simply stated in response to my thoughts. My jaw dropped and I gaped at him in horror. If I'm being completely honest, I think I was more shocked by his responding to my thoughts and not giving me the chance to respond aloud, making me feel even more exposed than before. There would be no secrets from this man. And by the large chance that the force didn't come through, I would be thrown out. _Disposed of_. Most likely killed.   
"I don't appreciate you probing my thoughts," I snapped finally.  
I hated him. Wholeheartedly and without further thought applied, I knew that I hated and would continue to despise this man. All the curiosity and fascination I held for him before soon vanished. With these thoughts I'm aware of a slight twitch of his left hand. This affected him, and I had caught the tiniest indicator that I had gotten under his skin.   
"Who's apprentice will I be then?"  
A slight pause and I could almost feel the toxic smile beneath his helmet.   
"Mine."  
And with that he simply turned on his heel and strode out of the cell, shutting my door with a simple wave of his hand behind him.

After what seemed like an eternity, a storm trooper opened my door and mechanically walked in with a tray of food and a cup of water. Setting them down without so much as a nod in my direction he left, shutting my door once more. I'd forgotten how famished I'd been. Who knew how long it had been since I woke up to not a care in the world other than sleep, only to find myself in the current situation I was in. I guzzled down the water in one go, and despite the undesirable color and texture of the food, I ate it all. It didn't take long after laying down on my cot once more for unconsciousness to take over.


	4. Kylo Ren

Her thoughts were riddled with disdain for me. What happened to the curious adoration she'd held for me back when I'd found her? Normally I craved the fear and hate people held for me in their minds, for it did nothing but fuel my own anger and power even further. This was different though. It bothered me. She'd seen that it had affected me, I'd let my guard down for a split second, and the abilities she so ruthlessly denied allowed her to read the small indicator from my body language. She would surely become more powerful than maybe even I had imagined, and I paced back in my own quarters aboard the ship, anxiety coursing through me for when I would need to speak with Snoke. I needed to pull myself together, for he would surely sense the feelings I was experiencing, much to my disdain. We would be landing soon and I'd have to face her again.  
I pulled off my helmet, pressing the unlock buttons on either side of my jaw, and threw it across the room. Rage was all I could feel. Rage and passion and confusion over this sarcastic, snarky woman. She was afraid when I'd found her. Afraid but alight with curiosity. I hadn't sensed any fear in her just now, just annoyance and hate. These qualities would assist her effortlessly in her training, her passionate demeanor and apparent ruthlessness would launch her into greatness.  
My hand opened by my side and my saber flew into it without hesitation. Igniting it instantly, I brought it down on the table occupying one corner of my room, yelling in unadulterated rage as I did so. Two, three, four more times I brought it down from over my head, cocking my arms back and letting nothing hold them back. The floor became riddled with various burn marks and scratches beneath the charred remains of the table and I withdrew my weapon. The room was dead silent aside from the low sizzle from the furniture's remnants. Better.

The voice of a trooper hesitantly came through the sound system outside my door, "sir. Uhh...we're preparing for landing at Starkiller Base."  
I threw open the door, sending the trooper flying backwards. I grabbed my helmet on the floor and pulled it over my head once more, my breathing came out in heated gasps, still alight with rage and the more present anxiety I was feeling at having to see Arema again. I silently vowed that this mask, this shield from my eyes, would never be removed in her presence. My eyes gave away everything, feelings of passion or weakness or hate, and she already knew that I was more human than I liked to let on.

The ship landed with ease and I was first to walk down the ramp into the launch bay.  
"Bring the girl out and escort her to one of the available living quarters," I directed one of the troopers.  
"Sir should we bring her to an interrogation room or holding cell first?"  
Wow. Seriously?  
I brought the trooper up into the air by his throat, his legs kicking in surprise.  
"She's not a prisoner. It would do well that you don't question my decisions at any point if you want to remain breathing," my response came with clenched teeth. "Do as I say."  
He dropped to the ground without grace.  
"Yes sir. So sorry sir," he gasped as he pulled himself up and quickly strode back into the ship.  
I nearly ran out of the launch bay, not wanting to see her when she emerged. I needed to calm down and compose myself before facing her once more, and Snoke would need to be notified of her presence. It wouldn't do me any good to face him with my emotions so out of control.

I get to my room and continue my pacing trying to steady my breathing. I could feel an annoying presence outside the door and I throw it open to face Hux.  
"I see you brought yourself back a souvenir Ren," he taunts. "I hope you plan on filling in the supreme leader."  
"In fact I do General. I was about to make my way there now."  
His presence isn't helping. A constant thorn in my side, he's the ever present teacher's pet, taking any chance he could get to bother me.  
Pushing my way past him, I make my way down the silver corridors, noticing his fiery red hair tailing behind me. I choose to ignore him and when I arrive at the door leading to Snoke he simply smirks. "Good luck, Ren."

I walked into the gargantuan room, my pace quick over the long walkway to Snoke. The second I arrive at the end, his holographic image fades into view. I was never prepared to see his face quite like Hux was. The General was always well collected when in the presence of the supreme leader. His large form peered down at me, his disfigured complexion coming into a sinister gaze.  
"What do I owe the pleasure Kylo Ren? Was the mission successful?"  
"The mission went smoothly," I started. "However the lead we were given was faulty. No sign of the resistance or resistance information was contained in the village. We did dispose of it-"  
He silenced me with a wave of his hand, "I don't have time for failure Ren! You had one obligation. Extract information as to the whereabouts of General Organa. And you failed this. What do you have to show for my time and your efforts? There's something clouding your mind."  
"A girl, supreme leader."  
He choked out a demented laugh.  
"No pets Ren! Dispose of her. You can't afford any distractions."  
I gathered all confidence I could muster. "No supreme leader," he twitched as I said this. "Not a pet. The girl is force sensitive. The strongest I've seen in another in a long time. I've brought her before the Jedi could find her, and I believe, with your permission, she could wield great power."  
Snoke seemed to mull this over a minute as I held my breath.  
"You would like this girl to be your apprentice," it wasn't a question.  
"Yes," I said simply. "I believe she and I both will be a great asset to the First Order."  
Snoke let out the hint of an approving smile. "Very well. Start training her tomorrow. I would like to meet with her soon to see her for myself."  
"Yes supreme leader."  
"One more thing. Do not let me down Kylo Ren."  
I nodded with a slight bow, and as Snoke's form began to disappear, I turned and strode back down the long walkway.

When I was almost to the quiet safety of my room I once again ran into the still smirking form of Hux. His red hair perfectly combed, and body perfectly at ease.  
"I went by to pay a visit to your little project. Apprentice huh?"  
My mind growled in protest and I held back the urge to choke him to death.  
"Her training has been approved by Snoke. Stay away from her."  
Hux simply smiled.  
"You got lucky Ren. I was almost hoping he'd reject your proposal. She is quite the looker. I would have taken her in myself," he said tauntingly.  
This time I didn't hold back. I threw my arm out in front of me and Hux was slammed against the wall he was carelessly leaning on. His eyes grew wide with panic and quickly settled on anger while his body remained frozen, arms at his side.  
"You so much as touch her, and your troopers with be cleaning your remains off this very floor _Hux_." I released him then, and he stumbled forward a bit before regaining his composure.  
"Be that as it may, _Ren_ , she's a feisty one. I'd watch her if I were you. You clearly hold a certain affection for her already. I would hate for that to come between your training as a sith."  
With one last nod and disgusting smirk in my direction, he spun and walked away.

I spent the next minute attempting to regain composure and failing miserably. I threw the door to my room open and once inside I didn't bother removing my helmet this time before once again pulling out my saber, taking a shaky breath, and destroying yet another piece of furniture.


	5. Arema

I was led out of the ship by only one storm trooper this time. He seemed nervous and rushed his way in, ushering me out without a word.   
"Nice to see you too..."  
Nothing.   
"What? Ren got your tongue?"   
No sense of humor, but he stiffened at this.   
"Ah okay. Got it. You're in trouble. Forget I said anything. Guy's an asshole."  
At this his head moves to look back at me, his quick pace not slowing in the process. We descended the ramp into a huge room and headed for a door across the way.   
"Do you really have to deal with him on a daily basis? Because if I'm being honest I have to hand it to you...I'd have jumped ship by now."  
I swore I heard the faintest of chuckles from him and he steps aside to allow my entrance through the door and....surprise surprise. No difference in color palette. The first order really knew how to decorate.   
The trooper cleared his throat. "Not every day."  
"I'm sorry?"  
He slowed his pace to walk next to me instead of ahead. "I don't have to deal with Kylo Ren everyday. We report to General Hux or Captain Phasma. Kylo just comes with the territory, especially missions. He's not always so bad."  
I scoffed at that.   
"That's definitely the sort of shit someone says when they're in trouble. No way in hell you guys are swapping war stories over the dinner table."  
He comes to a halt and his head shifts in my direction. I notice a series of numbers on the chest plate of his armor. LN-2168.   
"No you're right. He fucking sucks."  
I didn't hold back the laugh that forced its way out of me.  
"So what do the numbers mean? On your chest?"  
We begin walking again and he replies simply, "my name."  
"That's a serial number. Not a name."  
He shrugged.   
"This is the 'name' we are given from day 1. Maybe it helps them differentiate between all of us. We look the same if you hadn't noticed."  
I liked this guy.   
"Louie. LN-2168 isn't a name. I'm calling you Louie."  
We arrived at a thick metal door near the end of a hallway that looked the exact same as the other series of hallways. Louie pulled off his helmet and I'm met with a handsome face. He had hair cropped closely to his scalp in a shade of dark brown, and his eyes were ice blue. I was hoping he was serious when he said the troopers all looked the same, because then I could certainly get used to this place. He held out a gloved hand, "well it was a pleasure meeting you..."  
"Arema," I replied with a smile grabbing his hand.   
"Arema. Good luck with everything. If you ever need anything let me know, I come through this hallway often on daily patrols."  
He typed in a code on the key pad next to the door and it slid open with ease. Replacing his helmet and with a slight wave, Louie left me to examine my new quarters.

"Okay sooo...I take back all complaints about the living situation. Oops," I mumbled aloud to myself. The room was nothing less than gorgeous. Mind you, I was used to a cot in the corner of a hut, but this room was beyond what I had even hoped for. Immediately walking in, the first thing I noticed were the windows. They were huge, and revealed an expansive snowy landscape reaching as far as I could see. The room was quite simple, but large, all in blacks and whites which was clearly a First Order wide theme. A large bed, a dresser on the opposite wall, a small table, and a large open doorway leading to what I assumed was the bathroom.   
Walking through the doorway I was, once again, shocked. There was the most welcoming looking bath tub I had ever seen. There was a shower as well, but the bathtub was insane. My face broke into a huge grin. Maybe this whole apprentice thing wouldn't be so bad after all.   
Three quick knocks on my door interrupted my thoughts of long luxurious soaks.   
I walked over to the door and noticed a keypad to my right. I had no idea how to open my own door and I silently cursed Louie for not showing me how.   
"Press the green button," a muffled voice sounded from the other side.   
The door slid open after taking the advice, revealing a man with ginger hair combed neatly to the side. He wore all black as per expected.   
"Well hey foxy," I said with my best smile.   
He looked confused. "Foxy. Hair....ok bad joke."  
He let out a hearty laugh then and walked into my room.   
"General Hux," he said holding out a hand. "You must be Arema, I had to come see you for myself. When I'd heard Ren brought back a souvenir my curiosity was certainly peaked."  
"I'm going to forget you called me a souvenir, I'm not a prize to be won. Not by that man for sure."  
He smiled warmly, he really was quite handsome. What was it with this place and their ability to have mostly attractive men so far?  
"My apologies. But it pleases me to hear you don't hold affections for the man. There's hope for you yet," he teased.   
"Oh trust me General, it's him you'll need to be worrying about soon enough. He has no idea what he's gotten himself into."   
The smile that came across his face was a cross between pleasure and maliciousness. "That's fantastic to hear," he took a step toward me, closing the distance between us. I could feel his breath hit my face, and I considered taking a step back, but held my ground out of stubbornness instead.   
"If you need anything," his eyes glided down the length of my body. "Anything."   
I was rendered speechless for a moment. "Yea. Sure. Thanks General."  
"Hux is fine, Arema."  
Clearing my throat, "probably just stick with foxy but we'll see. If you don't mind though I would like to get cleaned up. Been a long day."  
Slowly stepping backward, Hux dipped his head in a sort of mock bow and turned and left the room.   
I went over to my bed and sat down, trying to process what had just happened. _I must be dreaming. These people are something..._

After I took the most relaxing bath of my life I walked over to the dresser. Rifling through its contents, I wasn't surprised to find that all the clothing kept inside was black. Long sleeved shirts, short sleeved shirts, pants, leggings, what appeared to be pajamas, and a couple thin black zip-up jackets. I placed the towel back in the bathroom, grabbed a pair of pajamas, and crawled into bed. I waited for sleep but it took too long to come. Tossing and turning, I struggled to find a comfortable position despite the incredibly nice mattress beneath me. I rolled over, staring out the large windows on the right side of the room, and watched the last remnants of the sun dip below the horizon. Eventually my eyes grew heavy and I welcomed sleep with open arms.   
*******  
I awoke the next morning to the sound of loud banging on my door and I practically fell out of bed in my half-asleep panic. I ran over and slammed the green button, opening the door, revealing the one and only Kylo Ren himself.   
_Of course he would choose to be so loud_ , I thought rolling my eyes.   
"Good morning to you too Ren."  
He seemed to take a minute to process my unruly bed hair, going in every which way like black tentacles, and the less than modest pajamas I was in.   
"We have training. Get dressed," his distorted voice spoke finally. "Now."  
This man was going to take some getting used to. Otherwise it would surely end in disaster for the both of us.   
He stood there awkwardly like he wasn't quite sure what to do.   
"Honestly, I'm not very shy so unless you want me to take my clothes off right here-"  
Before I could finish he was in the hallway and the door was shut. Smiling to myself in triumph, I got dressed quickly in one of the outfits provided, and waltzed out into the hallway. Kylo was lounging carelessly against the wall, body at ease until he noticed me watching, where he then automatically stiffened and stood straight.   
"Right then...follow me," he said mechanically leading me down to an elevator.   
To say the ride down to the floor containing training rooms was awkward would literally be the understatement of the century. He stood there stick straight. I don't think he moved a muscle and a thirty second ride turned into what felt like a thirty minute one.   
At last the doors opened and I withheld from all out running into the hall. Kylo turned right and we stopped in front of a door. I don't know what I expected, but this wasn't it. It was a small room, maybe the size of mine with a single mat in the center.   
"I'm supposed to learn the force in here?"  
He walked over to the mat motioning for me to sit, and I obliged with slight hesitation. I was a little nervous at this point.   
"Today you're going to learn how to project your thoughts to me," he said slowly circling me. "And then you will learn how to block your mind from me taking them."


	6. Kylo Ren

I circled around her slowly, hoping to put Arema on edge like I was. I couldn't get thoughts of her in her 'pajamas' out of my mind and the easy threat she'd thrown at me to undress right then and there. She could already read people so easily and I hoped desperately she took my hasty exit from the room as me not wanting to see her without clothes. I didn't. I kept telling myself that's _not_ what I wanted to see. This was my apprentice and the last thing I needed were any distractions, especially from someone who held such disdain for me.   
She sat cross legged on the mat, eyes closed and brows furrowed in heavy concentration. Her hair fell in long, soft black waves around her.   
"Imagine your mind as a wall. Don't allow any passage into it."  
I pulled in a shaky breath, trying to calm my nerves and growing frustrated in the process.   
"We've been at this for hours Kylo. It's not working," she replied, annoyed.   
"It's been fifteen minutes. Try harder."  
I combed her thoughts and was met with a series of images of her slapping me. Quite the imagination. I rounded and came to stand in front of her as a slow smile spread across her face, eyes remaining closed in calm serenity.   
"At least you have an ability to manipulate the thoughts that come screaming out of your skull," I snapped. "You're not totally hopeless."   
Her smile fades and her eyes opened.   
"Maybe you can teach me how to put thought into action then!"  
My anger flared. Try as I might I couldn't force it down and it took hold of every fiber in my body. She was so infuriating. I whipped out my saber and ignited it instantly, bringing it in close range of her left shoulder, and she flung herself backward. Her eyes were wide with a mixture of panic and anger.   
"How fucking dare you!"  
"Concentrate!" I pulled my saber back, and used the force to bring her up and pulled her into me. She struggled to break herself from my grasp, settling on spitting on my helmet. I released a growl and pushed her back to the floor.   
"If you don't get yourself together I will get rid of you _myself_."  
"My, what a fucking honor," she spat, settling herself back into her position and closing her eyes once again.   
I chose this time to probe her mind, wanting to flip through her thoughts and memories like the pages of a book just to teach her a lesson. To show her that I had the upper hand.   
I was met with a wall. Slight and easy to pry through but it was a start nonetheless. I broke through it and could see her thoughts easily once again. It was almost as if the more angry she was with me, the easier it was for her to block me.   
"Well it's a start. Again."  
Her eyes fluttered open for a brief second before closing again, and she scrunched her face in concentration once more. "You look ridiculous," I said.   
She threw herself into a standing position. "You're impossible! We're done here."  
She made to head toward the door but I stopped her in her tracks.   
"We're done when I say we're done. You've accomplished too little in such a short period of time. Sit down."  
Her lips came up in a sort of snarl, "then I would appreciate it if you would not make asshole comments!"  
"I would appreciate if you'd refrain from spitting in my face!"  
Her face relaxed then and she replied, "not your actual face." I rolled my eyes beneath my mask and she sighed. "Look I'm sorry, But you're infuriating. You're impossible."  
 _You're not a walk in the park either_ , I thought.   
"Let's try again. If you can get a wall up again we can be done for the day and pick back up tomorrow."  
She walked back to the center of the mat and threw herself down once more like a pouting child, crossing her arms.   
"Ok. Concentrate. Put everything you have into focusing your mind into a blank slate. Imagine a damn wall if it helps."  
She sat in silence for a minute. "Ok. I'm ready."  
I stopped my pacing and looked at her, unable to think for a moment before regaining composure. I entered her mind, met with nothing for a moment before pictures and memories slowly faded into view. I flipped through them quickly to find images of her teenage years. Moments of sadness, anger, and the hint of abuse. It catches me off-guard and I take a step backwards. I hadn't seen these before when going through her mind. It was almost as if she already had a wall up that she wasn't aware of, and in her moment of concentration of a complete mind block, it allowed these memories to slip through the cracks.   
She slammed her hands down on the mat and her eyes flew open in rage.   
"How dare you..."  
I blinked in shock.   
"You knew what I was looking at?"  
"Of course I knew! It's like you drew them on paper for me to see!"  
"But I've seen your mind before, Arema. Those memories were never present. You already had a block on them!"  
"They were personal Kylo."  
"Well it's not like I searched for them. They were just there. How can you so confidently reject your abilities when they've been there the whole time?"  
She stood up slowly, and I got the first hint of a lack of confidence from her.   
"Well maybe I just wanted to forget them."  
"No. You had a wall in place subconsciously the entire time. You just have to learn how to strengthen it and bend it to your will. You already projected a thought, which you were unable to do before, even if it was just an image rather than dialogue and you did get a block up even if it was weak and for just a moment. The memories I saw were only because you were so set on blocking me altogether that they happened to slip through what you already had on them. It's a start."  
She looked embarrassed, not allowing herself any pride in her small accomplishments. It was uncomfortable. I was used to her catty assured personality in the small amount of time we'd had together and it was causing my own embarrassment. My helmet hid the reddening of my cheeks.  
"We can be done for today. You've done well."  
Her eyebrows raised slightly at this. "Was that a compliment Ren?!"  
 _Oh here we go. She's back_.   
"I wouldn't kick a sad animal while it was down," I said in defense.   
"I'm not a sad animal. You simply don't have a gauge of what's personal and what's not. How would you like if I probed your mind of all _your_ personal thoughts and memories."  
I froze and thought about it.   
_They would just be thoughts of you_. I silently reprimanded myself and was never more thankful she didn't have this ability yet.  
"You'll have your shot soon enough. Once you can block and project your thoughts easily, we will be working on you reading other's thoughts."  
I knew this was what I wanted to teach her after this first task but the reality suddenly set in. I knew how strong she had the potential to be and of course I could easily block my mind or filter what thoughts could be read, however what if I lost concentration? What if I accidentally let something slip through as she had? And if she did end up figuring out a way to read my thoughts beyond my control, what would she say when she found out they were riddled with images of her?

My fears were interrupted when the door to the training room suddenly opened, and in strolled Hux.   
"What do you need General, we're in a training session."  
I could see Arema shift uncomfortably. Did Hux make her uncomfortable?   
"Hey foxy," she said with a half smile.   
_Foxy_? The responding smile on Hux's face said it all. It was a shit eating grin to say the least, and I clenched my fists. I could feel rage creeping up on me and I drew in a deep breath so as not to reveal myself.   
"A trooper told me you guys were in here," he said casually. "I need you in the strategy meeting scheduled for today. Snoke is not impressed by your recent failures despite the delightful prize you've brought back with you. Arema," he said nodding at her.   
What was going on here? What happened when Hux paid her a 'visit' during my talk with Snoke..  
"Listen as wonderful as it sounds to stay and chat with a beautiful woman and her less than impressive mentor, this meeting is due to begin in five minutes."  
"We were done anyway, right Kylo?" Arema looked to me with an almost pleading look.   
I clenched and released my jaw.   
"Right. Yes. Same time tomorrow Arema."  
She practically sprinted for the door and when Hux and I emerged from the room after her, she had already asked a nearby trooper to show her to her room, and the doors of their elevator were closing. We stepped into our own and the entire ride up Hux wore an all too indulgent smile on his face.


	7. Arema

The second I got back to my room I collapsed onto the bed in an exhausted and embarrassed heap. I had a million things running through my mind all at once and I tried to organize them, hoping to think one thing through at a time with no such luck. The anger I had toward Kylo for being such an evasive and annoying asshole. The horrifying feeling of knowing that he had seen memories of mine that were so personal that even I had forgotten about until then. Seeing Hux again; that was an entirely different thing on its own. I didn't know what it was about him but I got chills when he came around. Probably because he had essentially hit on me in such close proximity the previous day. I hadn't expected to see him again so soon, especially not during a training session with Kylo. I could still feel the sweep of his breath on my face and the malicious smile he wore when talking to me. With that being said it was almost flattering. His using words for me such as beautiful or 'delightful prize' was complimentary and disgusting at the same time. I didn't know what to think. I was grateful for the first time for Kylo and his ability to read me so well. I could tell he knew I was uncomfortable and I could see the anger he harbored for Hux.

I didn't realize how exhausted the day had made me. It was only midday but I suddenly felt like I could sleep for hours. I settled on taking a bath again just because I could before going and getting something to eat. The cafeteria was pretty busy with troopers and various employees of the base, but the last thing I wanted to do was socialize after the morning I'd had. I felt bad for spitting on Kylo's helmet. I knew it was extremely childish and uncalled for but he made me crazy. I'd been a slave most of my life, this should be an indicator to anyone how unbearable he could be. I'd never gotten so angry so easily in my old life which is what I'd taken to calling my slave years. It felt like an entirely different life.

I brought my food back to my room, silently worshipping whoever made the decision not to serve the same food on the base that they did on the ship. I ate in silence, and when I was finished I tried to sleep but found myself restless yet again. Instead I grabbed one of my jackets and threw it on, deciding on using my free time to explore the base a bit.   
I roamed the identical hallways completely lost but not caring in the slightest. I'd already had four troopers ask me if I needed help in the first ten minutes of my personal tour. There wasn't much to see given the similarity between each corridor. I was too afraid to open any doors, not wanting to get in trouble or accidentally walk into someone's living room. As I was just about to round another corner, I stopped dead in my tracks, hearing the ever present voices of General Hux himself and the low distortion of Kylo Ren.   
_Shit_.   
Kylo immediately stopped talking, allowing Hux to continue what sounded like snarky accusations. "Yea okay. We will pick back up on this later Hux. I have something to get to."  
I could hear the annoyed scoff of the General before his footsteps faded down the hall.   
Choosing this time to make a break for it to not be seen, I made to turn around but Kylo stepped directly in my path.   
"Hey Ren...."  
"What are you doing over here?"  
I shrugged, "honestly I don't even know where _here_ is....I'm kind of lost."  
He simply stared at me.   
"Are you laughing at me Kylo Ren?"  
His shoulders straightened.   
"What makes you think I'm laughing at you Arema?"  
"I can _feel_ it! You're totally laughing at me!"  
His shoulders shook gently.   
"Honestly I'm impressed. You could tell I'm laughing at you but you can't find your way around a few hallways."  
Rude.   
"I should be the impressed one. I didn't know you were capable of humor, seeing you laugh is like seeing a wookie walk on all fours," I laughed then too.   
I could slightly hear a light chuckle from him but he suddenly straightened.   
"Come on. You need to get back to your room. Hux is loose."  
My lighthearted moment came to a screeching halt. He knew. He knew something was up with Hux.   
_You weren't exactly hiding your discomfort for him in the training room_ , his thoughts pushed themselves to me suddenly. _Foxy_?  
"It was a joke. It wasn't supposed to be a term of endearment but based on his reaction I think he might enjoy it," I said with a frown. "Thank you."   
We had begun a slow walk down the way I had come but he stopped at this and his head craned down to look at me through his mask.   
"Geez how tall _are_ you?" I hadn't realized before just how high in stature he was.   
"Taller than your short ass," he teased. "And thank you for what?"  
I turned to face him and looked up at the small black space in his helmet where his eyes would be.   
"For knowing that Hux made me uncomfortable. I know you weren't unaware, I could tell you felt my....nerves. Or something. Anyone else would have said something stupid or wouldn't have realized."  
He gave a slight nod and made to walk once more before stopping again and I almost walked passed him. I turned back to face him, knowing what he was thinking without needing to read his mind.   
"What happened Arema?"  
Yep. There it was. I really didn't want to tell him but I knew I would be spending a lot of time with this man. I still didn't like him, he made me itchy so to speak. His presence annoyed me most of the time but in that moment I felt secure. It took me off guard, this impossible and childish dark man showing concern for me. It confused me but it was almost refreshing, having a somewhat normal conversation with him that didn't involve yelling or him pulling out a light saber.   
I searched for the words to tell him but settled on, "oh well you know...he's a confident man. I'm sure he views all women as objects."  
His right fist clenched momentarily.   
"No Arema. He doesn't even talk to the women on base usually aside from captain Phasma. He's a busy man and there are plenty of female troopers. Did anything...happen?"  
This surprised me.   
"Would you care?"  
He stood in silence, seeming to weigh his words carefully. "Yes," he said slowly dragging the word out. He shuffled his feet once and continued, "you _are_ my apprentice. I don't need someone distracting you and taking away from your training."  
He began walking again at a much faster pace, his long legs extending out in front of him, and I practically had to run to keep up.   
"I'm 5'5" by the way. It's not _that_ short," I retorted.   
He sighed at this and gave a slight nod.

The rest of the walk was silent, our very human moment over. He didn't so much as let up his marathon pace once, save for an elevator ride, which I spent trying to catch my breath.   
"You need conditioning."  
"You could at least ask me to dinner first," I tried.   
Nothing. This man was so difficult. He was probably much older than me anyway, older men either love the jokes or don't get them at all.   
The doors of the elevator opened revealing the way to my room. At least I could recognize this, given the 300 numbers on the doors to the rooms. We walk the short distance to mine and he stops a few feet from its entrance. Without looking at me he simply states, "next time you decide to explore take a trooper with you."  
He turned to leave and I suddenly didn't want him to go. I knew this was crazy but I felt safer with him despite his annoying personality.   
"Nothing happened Kylo."  
He turned slowly back around to face me. "I'm sorry?"  
I gave a sorry excuse for a smile. "Nothing happened. With me and Hux."  
He didn't say a word. I cursed my inability to read his mind.   
He settled on a low nod and said slowly, "be careful please," and then he was gone. I stood there for a moment not knowing what to think.  
My exhaustion suddenly caught up with me and I entered my room and stood in front of the expansive windows. The sun was starting to dip low on the horizon of the frozen planet and for the first time I was nervous to train the next morning. Things had gotten too personal and I felt like Kylo didn't know how to process that sort of thing. He had gone from lighthearted to formal in an instant.   
Sighing, I changed quickly into pajamas and jumped into bed, staring at the ceiling above me. It didn't take long for me to drift off to sleep and that night I had dreams of Hux and Kylo, of misogyny from Hux and protection from Kylo.


	8. Kylo Ren

"Clear your mind. You're distracted." She'd dreamt of me last night. I could see flickers of it in her mind but I chose not to ask or say anything because Hux was in there too. She'd dreamt of Hux. It was excruciatingly hard to control my anger over it. She must have been working on blocking her mind because I couldn't see the full content of the dream. All I knew was that at one point Hux was kissing her and at another I was running down the hallway toward her room.

I had gone to bed more easily the night before. Our conversation in the hallway the previous day had put me in an oddly relaxed mood. We had joked with each other and she said nothing had happened between her and Hux, but her jab about asking her to dinner had made me nervous to see her again. It was just a joke. But now I knew Hux was on her mind. He had kissed her in her dream.

It was hypocrisy at its finest. I was demanding that she concentrate on the task at hand but I wasn't concentrated in the slightest. My mind wandered terribly. I almost considered ending our session early but I knew she would ask questions. I knew more than ever how reluctant I was to teach her to search other minds. The force I sensed in her would prove to be stronger than anyone anticipated, I was sure of it.

She sat on the mat in concentration, brow furrowed and whispered, "ok. I think I got it."

I attempted to enter her mind again and instead of images this time I was met with feelings. It was an accomplishment for her. I couldn't see anything, just a clear mind, a blank canvas of sorts. I reveled in pride for a brief moment before the feelings hit; Fear, hatred, confusion, and passion. These were all fuel for the dark side and she held them all with extreme strength. It almost disappointed me, as much as I hated to admit. I wanted desperately to see love and compassion in her but fear and confusion were the two strongest feelings flowing through her. I wondered briefly if they had anything to do with the dreams she had.

"You did it," I stated. "I couldn't see a damn thing."  
Her eyes opened slowly and a huge smile spread across her face. "Really?! You aren't lying are you?"  
"I don't have time for false achievements, Arema."  
Her smile faded. "Kylo it wouldn't kill you to relax for two seconds. Do I get to learn how to read other people's minds now?"  
My heartbeat increased. I wanted to put it off as long as possible even though I knew Snoke would be expecting a swift progress with her training.   
"You need to learn to perfect this task effortlessly before we can even think of moving on to something more difficult. So, no."  
She looked disappointed and I wanted more than anything to give her what she wanted. I chose to go back into her head now that her defenses were down, and I was met with the same blank slate as before. I withdrew and tried again.   
"Nice try Ren. I think I have this down now."  
The heat inside me flared and I wanted to destroy something. How could I let this woman affect me so much? I craved her thoughts now and I had been the one to teach her to block them from me. I needed to see the full dream. I pressed harder, molding myself into her so to say and trying to slide around or through the wall on her mind. No such luck. It took her so much effort to learn how to put it up, with so much failure, but now that she had a feeling for it she could do it flawlessly. I cursed under my breath.   
"Project your thoughts now."  
Her head cocked to the side, "you can't be serious. Can't we be done for the day, I finally did it!"

She stood up then and I walked up to her, within a foot proximity, and her expression hardened while mine reddened beneath my helmet. I was trying to make her nervous but I couldn't tell now. Everything in her was blocked now. My leverage was gone.   
"Project your thoughts."  
Silence.   
"Project your thoughts, Arema."  
Nothing.   
_Do it now_! I practically screamed into her head.   
Her breathing grew heavy and mine became shallow. Hers was anger, mine was because of the intense grey of her irises.   
I waited.   
Her eyes narrowed and they never wavered from where mine were beneath my helmet. Although she couldn't tell, I couldn't hold the contact, and mine flicked down to the heaving of her chest.   
Just as I was about to back down and take a step behind me, her thoughts slowly seeped into my mind.   
_You have no idea what to do around a woman do you_?  
I froze. Not that I had moved, but if I had tried then I wouldn't have been able to.   
She closed the distance between us and I felt the brush of her right hand on my cloak. My breath hitched.   
_Take off your mask_ , I heard from her again.   
_No_ , I countered.   
Her eyes narrowed more. "Why," she spoke out loud.   
_Because its unnecessary_ , I sent her. _It's irrelevant_.   
She was challenging me and I knew it. She wasn't afraid of any consequences, and while I knew I had the upper hand, I _was_. I couldn't remove my helmet in front of her. It's not that I was insecure, it was that I wore my feelings on my face at all times, like a picture book. Easy to read. I couldn't give her that leverage.   
"You're scared," she accused, looking up at me. She was too close and she knew it. I clenched a fist.   
"See? There. There it was," she stated. "You're hiding something."  
Her natural ability to read people was stronger than mine. I hated that I wanted her. It made me weaker. It made me angrier.   
" _You're_ hiding something," I said through clenched teeth. "What did you dream about last night?"  
Her eyes flew wide open and she took a step back. Defeat. I smiled to myself.   
"What are you talking about Kylo?"  
"You know exactly what I'm talking about. The dream you had last night. You didn't have your mind cleared when you came in here. You're the one hiding things."  
She growled and practically launched at me, so close this time that her body pressed against mine and my heart skipped.   
Her jaw clenched and un-clenched. Looking up at me with nothing but hate she said in a low voice, "you know nothing. Mind your fucking business and stay out of mine."  
She whipped herself away from me and practically ran out the door. I stood there speechless. I knew her disdain for me was best, given that she was my apprentice, but it hurt. I knew I shouldn't have thrown her subconscious thoughts back at her but as much as I wanted her affection, I needed her to hate me. Not only did it fuel her force abilities with ease, but it kept things simple in terms of a working relationship.

I could have stood in the training room for hours and I wouldn't have noticed. Alone with my racing thoughts, I stood in the same position for what seemed like forever. She was probably back in her room now. I knew I had to go talk to her. Whether she hated me or not we would be working together from then on, therefore a clear conscience would be best. I pulled my feet from their position and walked to the door.

When I got to Arema's room I raised my hand to knock, and dropped it. I stood in front of the entrance for approximately four and a half minutes, raising and lowering my hand. I cursed, paced back and forth, and stood in front of the door once more. I could hear her muffled voice inside.   
_Fuck_.   
I felt like a child. This small, ornery woman got the best of me and I knew it.   
_Small, ornery, beautiful woman_ , I thought. My anger continued to grow. How could I let it get this far; and nothing had even happened between us. How could I allow myself to think so irrationally.   
My hand twitched toward my saber, desperate to ignite it, hungry to feel it destroy something.   
I walked away. I pressed the button for the elevator, intending to go find an empty control room to hurt, and as the doors slid open I slammed a fit against the wall beside it and walked back to her door. Before I could chicken out again I knocked, reprimanding myself for not just opening it and stared down at my hands. Her voice ceased and a few seconds later the door slid open.

I looked up into the face of General Hux.

 


	9. Arema

I stormed out of the training room and walked as fast as I could back to mine. How could he be so fucking invasive? I was livid and the last thing I needed was to be stuck in that room with that man any longer. I can't deny that I had been hoping he'd take off the mask. I was even more curious now than ever. Before I honestly didn't care what lay beneath the ever present helmet, I assumed Kylo Ren was probably some old man with a chip on his shoulder, but I felt jealousy from him when he asked about my dream. I couldn't read his mind yet but I had gotten a pretty good gauge of his emotions, especially during that day's training, and he reeked of jealousy. What did he see of my dream? How could he be jealous when he was the knight in shining armor in it?

It confused me more than ever. I didn't look at Kylo Ren as the good guy but I supposed after the concern he showed the day before, my subconscious put two and two together. He was the hero when Hux was involved I guess. He couldn't have seen the entire dream. I had been blocking my mind, and I knew if he'd seen it all he wouldn't have shown aggression to me, but more likely toward Hux.

I paced in my room and recounted the nightmare of sorts. Hux had come to my room and relentlessly forced himself on me. He had been kissing me, with nothing in return from myself, when Kylo threw in the door and force choked him. I woke up in a cold sweat.

It's not that I was afraid of Hux, it was more that I wasn't unaware of his obvious attraction to me, and he was all too comfortable when meeting me.

I was interrupted from my thoughts when a knock sounded at my door. I knew it would be Kylo.

When I opened it I let out a gasp into the face of Hux himself. "Arema," he smiled.

"Hux," I replied stiffly.

"Aw come now," he tsked. "I was growing to enjoy the nickname you'd given me." I simply stared at him.

"What can I do for you General?" He slid his way into my room, brushing past me and our arms touched, leaving mine covered in goosebumps. I hadn't invited him in or stepped back to signify a welcome. The door closed and I turned to face him, the following silence was unbearable.

"There's plenty you can do for me, Arema," he grinned. I was uncomfortable. Mind you, he was extremely handsome, I was certainly aware of this. If he hadn't been so creepy all the time maybe.... No. Kylo came to mind. I was confused why all the sudden this thought made me aware that he wouldn't like it and I cared. Why in hell would I care what Kylo thought so long as my training wasn't affected?

"How does someone like Kylo Ren come across someone so beautiful, and get to keep her for himself?"

I pursed my lips. What? "Kylo doesn't own me, Hux." He smiled a one-sided smile. "Maybe. But the First Order does," he replied. "He certainly holds affection for you. I can't blame him though," he began to walk around the space of my room. "I don't think either him nor I have ever had to be in such close proximity to someone so....attractively feisty."

I scoffed at this. "The only affection he holds for me is how I can further his power. I don't think he truly cares for anyone."

"You may be right, but he does harbor quite a rage of jealousy when you're involved. He seems to think all are unaware of his emotions. I know better." So Hux could tell too. Maybe we were both jumping to conclusions. Assumptions could lead to trouble.

"I doubt that. He's probably like 40. Doesn't he have a wife or something?" Hux let out the loudest laugh I'd heard in a long time, it's sound reverberated off the walls of my room.

"A wife? Snoke would laugh at that as well. He's a child." What.. Wait. "How old is he then...?" Hux shrugged and raised his hands. "Based on his temper I'd guess five, but I'd assume he's probably about your age." My mouth dropped. My age. I stood there with my jaw agape.

"Is this a surprise to you Arema?" I just nodded. "Exactly how old are _you_ , my pet?" Ew. Pet. This guy was something else.

"Twenty-three," I simply said.

"Yea around there I'd say. He's probably in close range of that." This was weird. I felt like I wasn't present. Just me and my thoughts, circulating around the idea that Kylo Ren was not only young, but that he was my age. I was faintly aware of Hux stepping closer to me. I could feel his presence in close proximity, but I couldn't concentrate beyond my own thoughts. I came to my senses when I felt the brush of his hand across my cheek, moving to tuck a stray lock of hair behind my ear. "Where did you get these eyes from," he whispered.

"I'm not your pet," I said faintly in response. I was frozen. My heartbeat thundered. I can't lie. If he wasn't so forward, I probably would have been interested. I probably would have kissed him. I was a good kisser, and I'd had brief encounters of romance in my previous life. I enjoyed a good chase though, like a game. This guy required no effort. In fact I think our roles were reversed, and I wasn't used to it, I was usually in control.

"I apologize." His body pressed forward and his face was mere inches away, his breath tangling with mine. "Wait," I breathed out. "You need to leave." A quick knock sounded at the door. I let out a breath I didn't realize I was holding as he pulled away from me. What was it about this man that left me so defenseless. Normally he'd be on the ground clutching his man-hood in pain at this point. I hated it. It made me feel sick. I couldn't move, and I was aware of his movement toward the door. I heard it open.

Then I heard nothing.

Absolute silence. It was then that my training came back to me. I felt a staggering amount of rage. It was Kylo. Rage, curiosity, jealousy, hate and pain. I robotically turned and faced the two men engaging in a stare down. They were speaking now but I had no idea what they said. Hux was laughing. Kylo was fuming. The words out of Hux's mouth dripped with poison in a sarcastic taunt at his opponent. I was aware of Kylo peering around the General at me, and then back to Hux. Reality hit me then and everything seemed louder. I stepped out from behind Hux and simply stared at Kylo. My age. My eyes raked over his form, lean and lithe, strong arms clenched and hood drawn over his helmet. I could feel him trying to probe my mind but my wall was up without even realizing it. I was good at it already. I felt his frustration.

I felt Hux's emotions: smugness, hate, triumph, annoyance. I didn't know what to say so I used what Kylo had taught me, what he wanted me to do over and over. I projected my thoughts.

_Get him out of here Kylo_. His body stiffened like a board. His head snapped back to me and his fists clenched even harder. I knew if he didn't have a helmet on his face would be contorted in rage, but I didn't even know what he looked like.

"Out. Now, Hux." Hux brought his lips into a snarl.

"You're interrupting Ren. You need to leave," he sneered. I watched as Kylo brought up his right hand in front of him and Hux was pulled into him, throat cradled in his palm.

"She wants you out you piece of shit," he growled. I closed my eyes and breathed in through my nose and out of my mouth slowly. Hux brought up his hands and tried to push Kylo away. Stupid decision. He was out then, that's for sure. I was alone once more, my dream from the previous night coming to reality. I punched the button that closed my door and leaned against it, sliding down to the ground, and I placed my head in my hands. All this time I had waited for the reality of my situation to set in, that I'd been taken from my planet and stuck with this asshole of a mentor, and I thought it would bring tears. I hadn't cried once since arriving at Starkiller base, but now the tears flowed effortlessly. I heaved and sobbed in the most unattractive way possible, red face contorted.

What was I supposed to do? How embarrassing it would be to see Kylo again, especially for training. I didn't know what to think. It wasn't that I was even crying because of Hux. If I'm being honest I did find him intriguing and extremely attractive. He was just so....comfortable with me. Invasive. Maybe I had given him the wrong idea. Either way my defenses fell. I cried for my home, I cried for Matthias and having to deal with Kylo and his infuriating personality. I cried because Hux couldn't at least ask me on a date before trying to make a move. Joke. That was a joke.

It wasn't even that I couldn't handle myself or that I was scared necessarily. I was so damn confused. I had this handsome slightly older man who immediately had taken to me and wanted...something. Sex? A relationship? I had no idea. He hadn't even discussed the matter with me before trying something. Then there was this other man who until then I thought was probably some bitter older man who took no pleasure in life other than to make me miserable. Now I knew he was young, and he was consistently coming to my defense.

The door slid open and I fell backwards onto the ground like an idiot. I clenched my eyes shut and braced for whatever was coming. I heard a helmet hit the ground and was pulled into a hard chest. I cried for a minute before pulling back and looking up into the face of Louie, his icy eyes hard with concern.

 

**A/N: I bet you thought Kylo finally took off his helmet >:)**


	10. Kylo Ren

I almost killed Hux. He gasped and spit like a rabid animal, trying get free and catch his breath. It was only when his face started changing color that I finally let go. Of all the rage I had ever felt in my entire existence, this was the worst. I was filled with hate mixed with jealousy and the need to protect Arema at all costs. I didn't care that she had let him into her quarters at that point. All I could think about was hurting Hux for whatever he had done. Had anything even happened?  
Hux sat on the ground in a nearby control room I'd brought him into, gasping with his hand at his own throat.  
"What did you do," I growled.  
He continued his labored breathing and let out a distorted chuckle. I took my helmet off and threw it at him and it made contact with his left shoulder. He winced before pulling himself up with a hateful grin. "Her skin is softer than I thought it would be," he said slyly.  
My face turned beet red and I whipped out my saber faster than he could process it's presence. His eye twitched slightly and he slowly said, "careful Ren. I meet with Snoke later."  
I backed him into the wall next to beeping computers and machinery, my cross blade held horizontal to his throat. I repeated, "what did you do Hux?"  
"You know, she thought you were an old man. She had no idea of your similarity in age."  
I waited.  
"I was going to kiss her when you knocked. She didn't so much as pull away. Your jealousy is palpable."  
I pressed my left arm into him and pushed the hot blade closer to his throat, singeing the finite hairs there, and he winced.  
"I don't think Snoke would approve," he whispered cynically.  
"No. He wouldn't. I wonder what he'll let me do to you when he finds out you've harassed his newest apprentice."  
His upper lip twitched and I released him, keeping my saber drawn. I was shaking with pent up rage.  
"Go."  
He laughed at me. "Since when do I comply with direction from you Ren?"  
My eyes narrowed. My face gave him nothing but thirst for his death. I was younger than him but I knew he was afraid. I could see it in his mind. I hadn't thought of looking through it before and I chose now to do so. His head replayed the images of her. A stroke across her cheek. Unbearably close proximity to her, her breath heavy. My confidence wavered.  
I was met with a smile. He could see it written plainly on my face.  
"Careful Kylo, she's an apprentice."  
He left. Just walked out. I was left alone with my anger and jealousy. I walked over and picked up my helmet, placing it back over my head, and proceeded to destroy every single piece of machinery in the room.  
********

Three days. This is how much time passed without seeing her again. I'd cancelled our training sessions for this amount of time, sending a trooper each morning to give her the news. One of them I'd caught on my way to speak with Snoke, LN-2168. I wouldn't have noticed him but he'd chanced a glance at me and I saw thoughts of Arema in his mind. I rounded on him and grabbed him by the arm.  
"Sir?"  
This was the trooper I had escort her to her room the day we arrived. The one I had taken aggression out on. The one who had questioned me.  
"Why were you with my apprentice?"  
He paused, seeming to weigh his words carefully before responding, "I was making rounds on the 300's level when I heard a commotion between you and the general. I'd heard her crying through the door to her quarters, sir. I had to make sure she was okay."  
I clenched my jaw in anxiety and entered his memory. He'd opened the door to her crumpled on the ground crying. He'd removed his helmet and held her until she was out of tears and heaved breathlessly in an attempt to relax. She called him Louie.  
"You're friends." It wasn't a question.  
"Yes sir, of sorts I suppose. I wasn't trying to step out of line, I simply wanted to ensure she wasn't hurt."  
I released his arm.  
"Please relay a message to her. Our session will be cancelled this morning."  
He gave a slight nod and salute, "yes sir."

That was day two. It was the third day now. A different trooper had gone to her with my message this time. I knew she had to be mad or at the very least curious. Hux was gone. He was attending to business off base and he would be gone for the space of a week. It was a relief. If he had still been there I wouldn't have chanced not seeing Arema and the possibility of him trying something with her again. I didn't sleep at all. It was more of brief periods of half sleep before I remembered my dilemma or an obtrusive dream made its way into my half conscious state. I weighed my options carefully. I had spoken with Snoke the previous day and he hadn't hinted toward any knowledge of my encounter with Hux, but he was very aware of my distraction. He could tell something was off and I think he simply concluded that I was in love with Arema or something. I wasn't. I didn't know her well enough to be and she still hated me. This I was sure of. He rounded on me angrily, reprimanding me for holding such feelings for an apprentice and letting it distract me from the dark side. I needed to grasp onto my anger and passion and hate. Wasn't love passion though? No. I was simply curious of her, aware of her rare beauty. Infatuated at most. Even then I wouldn't call it infatuation. Not even lust; at least I didn't think it was lust...  
I'd had no experience with lust. Romantic relationships only distracted a sith mindset.

I could have worn a hole in the solid ground of my room with all the pacing I'd done. It was nearing the end of day three. I had to at least talk to her the next day. Snoke would kill me if I took anymore time off. The sun dipped low on the horizon outside the base. I donned my helmet and pulled on my gloves and exited my room, hoping to appear as if I was doing something important, but really I was wandering. I wasn't getting any sleep that night anyway.  
I rounded a corner and the sounds of the cafeteria reached my ears. Annoying really. I was almost upon its entrance when Arema herself emerged from the doorway. She had her eyes on her tray and when she looked up and saw me she jumped, so hard in fact, that her tray of food slammed to the ground as if gravity itself increased ten-fold. It's contents went everywhere, an orange rolling to where I stood.  
 _Shit_ , came her thoughts. She was nervous.  
She began to clean up the mess with fervor and I bent down and picked up the orange. When she stood with a mess of a tray in hand I held it out to her.  
"Thanks," she said grabbing it. "Excuse me." She was attempting to out-walk me back to her room but let's be honest, it wasn't happening. If it wasn't so damn awkward I might have laughed. I closed the distance between us and trailed her until we got to her door.  
"What do you need Kylo?"  
I shifted in place.  
"Can we talk? I don't have to go in your room I get it. But I think we need to talk."  
She simply stared at me. No expression, a beautiful wall up on her mind. She was brilliant already.  
"We should talk," I repeated.  
"Look, I understand shit went sour and now I have to be 'disposed of,' but honestly could you just do me the favor of at least taking me back to my planet or giving me a janitorial position or something?"  
I laughed nervously this time. It felt wrong. I apologized under my breath.  
"Nobody is disposing of you, Arema. We just need to talk. I need to apologize."  
She opened the door to her room and I waited outside its threshold.  
"God Ren, just come in..."  
I took a large step inside and stood still once more. She walked over to her table and sat down with her tray. "Kay so, what's up?"  
I took a deep breath. Apologizing was not my forte.  
"I'm sorry I've cancelled our sessions. I've needed to....I've been busy."  
"No you haven't. You just didn't know what to say."  
She was good.  
I watched her peel her orange, her thin fingers moving over its shape in swift movements.  
"Okay. Yea. I didn't. I wanted to come see if you were okay but I didn't know-"  
"But you didn't," she cut me off. "Do you want some?" She held a section of orange toward me. I shook my head but I hadn't eaten all day and my mouth watered.  
She had complete control of the situation. She had the upper hand this time. I couldn't even find anger, my one fallback, because she was absolutely right. I didn't come check on her. I was too scared. I didn't want to know if anything more had happened or if she'd wanted Hux there to begin with.  
"How old are you," she interrupted my thoughts.  
"25."  
She let out a breathy sardonic laugh, "I thought you were old."  
"I know. Hux told me." She flinched when I mentioned his name. "Look I don't want to pry in your personal life but did you let him in here?"  
"What personal life?"  
I pulled my jaw from side to side not knowing how to respond. "What made you think I was old?"  
She finished chewing before replying, "you have the textbook demeanor of a crotchety old man."  
I chuckled at this. I was trying to relax, rolling my shoulders a couple times.  
"Sit," she said.  
"No thanks."  
"Would it kill you to be human for just a moment?!" Her face looked like a mixture of pain and annoyance.  
I drew in a breath and walked over to the table, she stared up at me and my heart skipped a beat before sitting down across from her.  
"We will proceed with training as usual tomorrow."  
"Did you hurt him?" She asked as she placed another piece of orange in her mouth.  
"Would you be satisfied if I said yes?"  
She chewed for a moment.  
"Yes."  
"Well then it would please you to know it was extremely difficult for me to allow him to breathe again."  
She smiled slightly, "thank you. Again. You seem to be in the right place at the right times." We sat in silence for a moment. "My dream went in accordance with what happened. He made a move I didn't reciprocate and you were there to stop him. Why were you jealous?"  
That took me off guard.  
"I wasn't jealous-"  
"Yes you were. You forget I have the force too. I can feel what others feel more easily than I can block or project my mind."  
My palms started to sweat. "You must be good then. Your mind is completely blank to me now."  
She smiled a toothy smile. Perfect.  
She waited.  
"I wasn't so much as jealous as it drove me crazy that you seem to harbor such dislike for me, while you trusted him so easily as to let him so close."  
She cocked an eyebrow. She got up and threw the orange peel in the trash. "Well I didn't let him in. And I don't hate you. You're just stubborn."  
A weight was lifted off my shoulders and I didn't understand why. She hadn't exactly said she enjoyed my presence either.  
"I'm getting really tired though Kylo I should get to sleep if we have training."  
I nodded and got up, making my way to the door. "It won't happen again Arema," I said as I pressed the button and walked out into the hallway.  
She smiled weakly as the door shut and as I walked away her thoughts forced their way into my head.  
 _Is he around_?  
I smiled to myself.  
 _No. He won't be back till next week_ , I sent her.  
Silence. She was satisfied with that.

I slept with ease that night.


	11. Arema

Awkward. The next morning was fucking awkward.   
I awoke to softer knocks than normal and I knew it was probably Louie again, sent with a message of cancellation from Kylo, but it wasn't. It was Kylo himself. I wish I could've seen the expression on his face. It probably looked unsure.   
"Wow. How nice of you to signal your presence in a much softer way, Ren."  
I wanted to hide my nerves with sarcasm. It was my best defense.   
He came back with, "I'm surprised you heard it through one of your comas."  
He was my best opponent.   
I was suddenly aware of my lack of clothing. Black pajama shorts and a small tank top. I looked down at my clothing and my cheeks reddened. I wished I could see what he was thinking, because his head flicked down once after mine and shot back up.   
"Um...right. I'll give you a moment," and he turned to take a few steps down the hallway like he did on the first day.

I kept replaying this on the way to our training room, my cheeks not returning to their normal color once. Why was I all the sudden embarrassed? I was always confident around Kylo, but now it was different. He had seen me in the most vulnerable of circumstances, he'd apologized which I assumed wasn't his MO, and it had affected him enough that we hadn't seen each other for almost three days. And he was my age! I felt like this was pointless to dwell on but imagine knowing someone, even for a short period of time, and never having seen their face but drawing clear conclusions in your head about who they might be. And then come to find out it's totally off. It made me feel like a teenager again. Weird.

We finally arrived at the training room and I immediately went and sat on the mat as usual, ducking my head so my hair would fall around my face to create a sort of shield from my red complexion.   
I was aware of his footsteps, slowly making their way toward me and coming to a stop a few feet ahead. I heard him take in a breath and he slowly lowered himself to the floor, so that he was sitting the same way, right in front of me. I raised my head and met his gaze, wanting to break the eye contact but too stubborn to do so.   
"Are you ready," he asked.   
"Yes," I said breathless.   
He was having a new affect on me. I didn't know what to think. The ever confused slave girl. It felt somewhat like respect; like I could see him clearly then. He had taken care of me. He had been there when I most needed him even though he didn't come back for three days and even though he'd taken me from my home, he could have killed me too. He handled my attitude like nobody else ever could before, even matching it and throwing just as much back at me. I still didn't completely _like_ him, but I suddenly wanted to please him. To show him I could learn and make him proud, to wield the force beautifully like he needed me to.

He pulled an orange out of his cloak and I smiled. I liked to think he was too. He placed it on the floor between us and I looked from him to the piece of fruit.   
"Move it."  
What?  
"Wait. No. I thought I was going to learn how to read other minds first," I whined.   
"You will. But we've spent enough time on mind games. I want you to try using the force in the physical realm first."  
I resisted the urge to pout. I take it back. I hated him again.   
"Okay....what do I do?"  
He straightened. "You move it."  
Asshole.   
"How!"  
His hands were on his knees, but I was aware of his right index finger moving upward, and the orange rolled into my crossed legs.   
Annoying.   
"Close your eyes." I did. "Clear your mind and use your body. Place your hand in front of the orange and focus everything on moving it. Don't think. Just do it."   
I tried. Nothing.   
"Try and sense everything around you. Clear head. Find the force in you and take it. Control it."  
Nope.

This was how we spent the next, no joke, four hours. Sitting face to face, my eyes clenched and hand held out like an idiot trying to move a fucking fruit. He laughed at me too many times to count and my temper would flare. Three times I threw myself up and paced around the circumference of the room, throwing my hand in the direction of the mat, trying to get it to budge. It got to a point where his legs fell asleep and he had to switch positions often to keep circulation. It was embarrassing. I screamed and yelled and he never stopped me once.   
I could tell he knew this was difficult for me and he provided direction without being pushy. It was new to me. I almost missed the sound of his anger. It was like what had happened had given him more patience with me.   
I'd sit back down and he would simply mutter, "concentrate, Arema."

After these four hours my stomach growled in protest. I hadn't eaten breakfast and I was wiped.   
"I can't do it Kylo. I'm done. I'm hungry."  
He pulled himself up slowly and shifted his weight back and forth from the needle pricks of legs that had fallen asleep. "Ok go get some lunch."  
"Ugh! What is wrong with you!" I growled.   
He stood there, silent.   
"What do you-"  
"No! No. Don't ask me what I mean. You know what I mean Ren. We don't train for three days and all the sudden you're the picture of patience. It's fucking annoying!"  
He let out a small laugh.   
"I'm confused. So when I let my anger take over you hate me, but when I'm patient with you, you're annoyed?!"  
I worked my jaw.   
"Don't you dare pity me. I can feel it. You feel bad for me!"  
He walked to the door, "go get something to eat Arema. Be back here in thirty."  
No way. I was infuriated now. The combination of failure and his pity sent me over the edge. I lunged toward him and grabbed his arm. He swung around to face me and I gritted my teeth.   
"How dare you. Just say it."  
My mouth moved into a sort of snarl and I re-enforced the block on my thoughts.   
I could feel his calm demeanor fading. His rage was building and his breathing grew heavy. He took a moment, staring out over my head, and then craned his head down to look me directly in my face. His helmet was dented in places. My grip tightened on his arm and in one swift movement my hand was empty and both his hands were placed around my arms this time. He pulled me directly into his body. I could feel the muscles in his chest beneath his cloak and his fingers dug into my upper arms, their pressure increasing.   
My anger was replaced with fear. I hadn't been afraid since I first saw him on my home planet.   
My breath became labored and he didn't falter once. I could feel his chest heaving against mine.   
"Do not so much as lay a hand on me in anger. Ever again," he said so low that a chill ran down my spine.   
"You've done it to me before," I countered.   
"And I received your spit on my helmet for it."  
We stood there for a moment. Our breathing giving away our anger and fear. His just being anger.   
I tried to pull away but his grip tightened.   
"If you don't want my patience, then I can show you how I would instruct anyone else in your position."  
I bit my lip. "What makes me different?"  
He paused a moment before replying, "I wouldn't kick an animal while it was down." It was exactly what he'd said our first day of training, and it hurt.   
My eyes widened. "What do you mean...?"  
His mask came within an inch of my face and my breath hitched.   
"Given the circumstances regarding your apparent relationships with certain people on base, I felt you needed a tender hand on your first day back in training," he hissed.   
I was speechless. All fear was gone once more and I was more angry with this ruthless dark man than I'd ever been.   
"You're fucking impossible, _Ren_."  
"Yea. You're a fucking breeze yourself."  
He released me then and I staggered backward. Tears pricked the back of my eyes and I tried with everything in me not to let them fall.   
I was angry and embarrassed. My cheeks reddened once again and I gaped at him in horror.   
"Low blow Kylo..." I whispered, lowering my head.   
I could feel his anger waver. I knew he pitied me and that was almost worse.   
"Who's Louie?"  
My head snapped up. "Who told you about Louie?"  
He crossed his arms in front of him and waited.   
"He's a friend Kylo. Don't let your jealousy get the best of you. He's not Hux."  
"What's that even mean," he said in his hard distorted voice.   
"It means exactly what I said. He's not Hux. He hasn't tried anything and he doesn't use creepy terms of endearment for me. He was the only one who cared how the other day affected me. He heard me and he can't even read minds. He took the chance at opening my door to make sure I was okay and when he saw that I _wasn't_ okay, he stayed with me. He comforted me when all I needed was someone to tell me it would be okay. It wasn't even about Hux at that point! It was about the fact that I'm here in the first place. I didn't choose this! I didn't get a choice whether I wanted to learn the force or not and you consistently give me different signals. One day you're angry and want nothing to do with me and the next you can take a joke. But God forbid I say one wrong thing and it's back to angry! All I needed was a friend and that's what he gave me. All I needed was you to be there again to tell me it would be okay and that we're in this together."  
It was quiet for a minute. I knew he had no idea what to say so I made for the door and he let me.   
"You never told me you didn't want to do this Arema," he said over his shoulder.   
I sighed in defeat as I opened the door.   
"I was just a slave Kylo."  
I made my way back to my room in silence, letting my tears win their battle and flowing freely down my cheeks.


	12. Kylo Ren

She never told me she didn't want to do this. She never said she needed to stop. She was wrong. I knew she enjoyed training, it was just me she couldn't handle. It was only because I matched her at her own game. She was used to getting what she wanted from men, using her sarcastic sense of humor and looks to get where she needed to be. I wanted to give her what she wanted more than anything but I knew it would get us nowhere. I knew it was wrong, what I had said. It _was_ a low blow.   
I couldn't get the thought of her body against mine out of my head. The feeling of her pressed against me. I knew it wasn't because she wanted to be against me but I reveled in it. Despite my anger, it felt nice to be so close to her. To feel and hear her breathing. It was the only way I knew how to get under her skin. It seemed her main mission was to get beneath mine, so I reciprocated.   
I knew I should've gone to talk to her and apologize, again, but I couldn't. I was being stubborn just as she was.

I spent the rest of the day in my room, pacing and eating when necessary, chancing a trip to the cafeteria to grab food and head immediately back to the safety of my quarters. I couldn't cancel training again I had to be stronger than that.   
So that's what I did. I stayed strong, trying not to let the memory of her body on mine distract me over the course of the next week.

It was a long week. We spent the next seven days in a row sticking to the usual routine. I'd knock on her door, louder like I did before, and waited for her in the hallway.   
I'd let things get too far, too personal, and I knew it wasn't okay so I dropped it all and picked up my old ways. By that I mean I went back to how I was when it all started. I was stoic, not letting her get the best of me and using my aggression and anger as a distraction to drive me forward. We didn't speak much. She tried few times each day, poking a joke here and there but I didn't relent. The only words I spoke were the directions she needed to try and actually move the ever present orange on the floor.   
On some mornings she emerged with puffy eyes, like the events of the previous week were finally catching up to her and she'd allowed the floodgates to open. Almost like when she was on her own she didn't hold it in anymore and now that things went back to a formal status, she didn't quite know how to deal with it. While I grew angrier she grew more passionate, allowing her emotions to flow freely but still maintaining a clear block on her mind.   
After each session I would go back to my room and pace or find an empty room or piece of furniture to destroy. As long as I kept myself angry I had a comfortable handle on myself. I lashed out at the people around me and it was worse anytime thoughts of her entered my mind; which was all the time. I tried to remember we didn't get along. She hated me and I found her impossible to deal with sometimes, but she was as beautiful as always. She was passionate and emotional and she concentrated so hard, still as ridiculous looking as always, but still beautiful. It made my rage stronger. I would stand a ways in front of her sitting form and study every part of her, the inward curve of her waist and the shape of her jaw. It was a waste of time to dwell on these things. Even if we were friends, we were fire and ice. Tragic.

She finally moved the orange on day seven.   
It rolled a foot away from her.   
"Oh my god! I did it! Kylo I did it!"  
I smiled beneath my mask but quickly corrected myself, "good."  
She closed her eyes and did it again. And again.   
She tried with her eyes open and succeeded. It was almost like once she got a handle on something she was a pro.   
"Not just good. This is fucking great."  
I resisted the laugh that threatened to escape me. I simply stood with my arms crossed.   
She got up from where she was seated and flicked her hand toward the orange and it rolled to the toes of my boots.   
"Now pick it up," I said plainly.   
She walked forward to retrieve it.   
"No. Go back and use the force."  
She looked unsure for a moment before a calm serenity fell over her face and I thought I was going to choke. The orange flew into her hand. Flawless.   
"Tell me I'm good," she said with a grin.   
"You're getting there. We can be done for the day."  
I made my way to the door but didn't wait for her. I left her standing there in her own glory and disappointment that she didn't receive more praise from me.

Hux was back. I could hear his shitty voice from a mile away. I had just finished taking my anger out on a trooper who wasn't doing his job when the General strolled by with his right hand, Captain Phasma. He stopped dead in his tracks.   
"What do you think you're doing with one of my men, Ren?"  
I dropped the poor man and he went to stand by his superior.   
"He wasn't doing his job. Excuse me," and I walked away.   
"How's Arema doing?" He called from behind me.   
I froze and my blood boiled. I whipped around and he dismissed the captain and the trooper. Just him and I now.   
"Leave her alone Hux. She's finally getting somewhere in training."  
He smiled and made a show of studying the beds of his fingernails.   
"Think I'll pay her a visit and ask her myself. I've missed her catty personality. Seven days is a while."  
I strode up to him and invaded any personal space he thought he had.   
"Test me again General. I dare you."  
He simply smiled, "have a good day Ren."   
He turned and left, leaving me breathless and shaky with rage.

The next morning Arema and I got to the training room. She had been rambling on about a conversation she'd had with Louie the previous night.   
"You get to read minds today."  
She had been making a show of opening and closing the door using her newly found force abilities, "really?!"  
I wished I could show my pleasure at her excitement.   
"God I can't wait to see what actually goes on in Hux's head," she laughed.   
I stared at her. "What?"  
She frowned.   
"I knew he was back yesterday. He came by."  
Speechless.   
The fire flared.   
"What happened?"  
She shrugged, " he was actually really nice. He didn't invade my space like before. I was really nervous when I saw him but he was respectful so it was okay."  
"He assaulted you Arema."  
"Actually he didn't. He was just too forward with me. The most he did was touch my cheek. I didn't feel comfortable with his attitude but it's not like I'm scared of the man, especially now that I can move and control objects."  
"I don't want you near him," I stated.   
"Oh save it Kylo. Nothing happened and nothing _will_ happen. It's nice to have people to talk to sometimes when the person you're around the most has made quite the effort in trying to keep his stoicism."   
I could never hide my feelings from her. It was her best talent, feeling the emotions of those around her.   
I swallowed my pride and ignored the accusation, motioning for her to sit once more.   
I sat in front of her again for the first time in a week.   
"Clear your head and feel my presence."  
"Oh I feel it," she poked.   
I rolled my eyes.   
She was in better spirits today.   
"Focus on channeling your mind into mine."  
She stared at me with intensity. It made my heart stop momentarily. I knew I had to focus. I couldn't open my thoughts entirely but in order for her to learn I had to leave cracks in the block on my mind.   
I could feel the force emanating between us. She was impeccable with the mind capabilities in the force. She could block her mind without a thought now and she could project anything she wanted. I knew she would pick this up quickly.   
The connection was growing and her breathing grew even, focusing her eyes into mine.   
"I can feel it. I think I'm almost there but I can't _see_ anything," she whispered. "It's blank."  
I allowed myself to relax and focused my thoughts on Hux without projecting them.   
She jumped.   
"Hux," she said. "You're thinking of Hux."  
I replaced the block.   
"Nothing now."  
"Perfect," I said. "Again."  
I wanted to see if she could break through my defenses.   
Nothing.   
"You have a wall up again don't you?"  
I nodded.   
She closed her eyes and I felt her in my mind, shaping and forming around me, trying to break through.   
I closed my eyes too and felt the sensation of it, our minds connected but neither one of us exposing our thoughts. It was euphoric.   
I felt her shift her position, and her hand was on the side of my helmet. I wasn't expecting it. I didn't think she would ever dare touch me again since the encounter the previous week. Although the helmet lay as a barrier between my head and her hand, the sheer surprise of it let every single wall and defense I had down. She already had the connection between us, it was strong, but when she placed her hand on me it grew ten-fold. The shock of it released everything. My heart jumped to my throat, my breath hitched audibly, and everything was given to her. I could see everything she pulled from me. I could see everything she saw. And it _was_ everything.   
She saw the source of my anger.   
She saw my memories of her.   
She saw my rage of jealousy over her and Hux.   
The worst part? She saw how I felt about her. How I thought about our bodies pressed together, and how she made my pulse increase.

Her eyes widened and she sat back slowly.   
"Kylo I..."  
I flung myself up and away from her. My mouth hung open and my eyes wide with terror; cheeks the color of a fresh red apple.   
I wanted to choke her. I wanted to hurt her with everything I had. I lost the ability to speak.   
She knew how to read minds now and she reached for mine, sensing these hostile thoughts.   
Her eyes welled with tears and mine ached in anger.   
"Kylo-"  
"How dare you fucking touch me," I said in a sinister voice.   
"Why didn't you stop me then!"  
"My eyes were closed!" I screamed.   
"How am I supposed to know what your eyes are doing behind a fucking helmet!"  
This was pointless.   
I threw the door open from my place in the center of the room and marched out, leaving Arema's sputtering apologies behind me.


	13. Arema

I lied to him. About Hux.  
It wasn't a friendly conversation between two acquaintances or something I was even remotely comfortable with. Louie had come by my room to forewarn me that the General was once again back on base and I stayed in my room. I pretended not to care and brushed off Louie's concern like it wasn't any sweat off my back. But I was nervous. Not scared, but nervous because I knew I'd run into him at some point.  
And I was right.  
It was only an hour after Louie had dropped by and I'd been practicing moving things with the force tirelessly. I was getting good honestly.  
A few knocks sounded at the door and I opened it with a wave of my hand from where I was standing at the window. My back was to the door.  
I immediately felt tension; the lustfull curiosity that Hux held.  
"Hux," I said evenly.  
"My my. Kylo was right, your training _has_ come quite far."  
I turned to face him, his ever present smile on his face, and my palms began to sweat.  
"...thank you."  
He strolled up to me carelessly.  
"Is there something you need General?"  
"Just wanted to see you," he replied. "We were so rudely interrupted before"  
I could see all the flecks of color in the irises of his eyes. The purse of his lips.  
"You need to go. Now."  
His head cocked to the side, "I don't understand why you're afraid of my presence, Arema."  
"I'm not afraid. I simply don't think it's appropriate for you to be in my room with me. Alone."  
He frowned in thought.  
"If we weren't alone?"  
I thought of Kylo.  
"Maybe. But right now I need to practice. Kylo hasn't been keen on slacking lately."  
He smirked.  
"Right then. I just wanted to come by and say hi after having been gone for quite a bit."  
Then he left. It was almost too easy.

It was the next day now and I had just gotten done with my mind reading session. What. The. Hell.  
I had seen Kylo's thoughts. I'd seen them all. It was the first time I'd touched any part of him other than his arms, and the helmet was cold beneath my touch. It was like an electric shock. Our minds were connected and I was trying to break through his mind block. I simply thought-no- I didn't think. I had the sudden urge to place my hand on him, it was almost instinct, beyond my control. I had no idea he'd had his eyes closed, I thought he saw what I was doing and was okay with it. How was I supposed to know?  
As far as I knew, Kylo was indifferent to me, a mentor and student relationship. I thought at most he saw me as someone to _sometimes_ joke with but the last week proved otherwise. I knew he'd harbored jealousy when it came to Hux but I wasn't prepared for what I saw.  
I saw everything since I'd arrived. His loathing of Hux and I around each other. His thoughts were riddled with images of me, how beautiful he thought I was and how nervous he was when I was around. How I drove him crazy but I made his heart skip when I was close, and how his breathing changed. He had especially dwelled on the fight we had. When our bodies were against one another; it had driven him to the brink of insanity and occupied his thoughts for the entire week. I thought he'd been stoic because he hated me and his increase in anger was because of my defiance. I was wrong. He was simply resisting me at any and all costs so as to keep the dark side in him as strong as possible. He'd dreamt of my eyes, the sheen of my hair, and the shape of my body.  
I couldn't breathe. I had no idea what to think.  
He left me in the training room in such a hurry I didn't have time to process his absence. I simply stood there in shock. I had no idea what to do or say. I knew I had to go talk to him.  
I ran out the door and punched the button for the elevator and rode up to the 300s level.  
Wait...I didn't know where his room was. I was his apprentice and I had no idea where he lived.  
I roamed around the entire level, lost. I finally found my hero, Louie.  
"Louie!"  
He turned at my voice and removed his helmet, revealing a flawless smile.  
"Hey slave girl what's up."  
I grabbed his arms, "crisis. That's what's up. Please tell me you know where Kylo Ren's room or house or wherever the fuck he lives is."  
He let out a nervous laugh, "wait why? What's going on Arema?"  
"Please just tell me where he lives, Louie!"  
He backed away and raised his hands in defeat.  
"You better not get me in trouble. He's in 350," he said.  
"Thank you! I owe you!" I said over my shoulder while I ran down the hall. My room was 305. How did I not realize he was even on the same level as I was? Did I really not pay any attention?

I got to his door and froze. I raised my hand-  
_Not now Arema_.  
He knew I was there.  
"Kylo," I said aloud into his door, "can we talk please? I'm sorry I didn't mean.."  
His door slid open and there he stood. Tall, emanating everything that was strength and rage. His fists were clenched and I reached out for his mind. Big mistake. He blocked everything and I didn't think this much power was possible, it made my head hurt.  
Nope. That was him. He was making my head hurt and it felt like it was splitting.  
"Kylo...stop," I said through pain and clenched teeth.  
It stopped.  
"Leave."  
His door shut and now I was angry. It was an accident and he was acting like a fucking child!  
I threw his door open with the wave of a hand and stomped inside.  
"How can you be mad at me Kylo?"  
I stopped and looked around. His quarters consisted of a series of rooms rather than the one like mine was.  
"You had no right to take what you did. You had no right to touch me. It was completely out of line."  
He was right, of course.  
"I didn't know Kylo. I didn't know that you...felt that way. About me.."  
He just stood there and I wished more than ever I could see his face. I needed to know what he looked like. I let my thoughts on this open to him.  
"It doesn't fucking matter Arema. Those feelings were lies. All you are is a student and you need to act as such. Cut the bull shit and just do your job."  
I waited for something, anything else. I was disappointed and my chest felt heavy.  
I'd harbored no feelings for Kylo Ren other than annoyance and brief periods of friendliness, but I felt safe with him and he was always there when I needed him. I knew he would always protect me, but it felt like some sort of screwed break up and we weren't even together. It was so backwards.  
"Why can't you just tell me how you feel? I saw it all how was it all a lie?"  
He invaded my space again. He craned his neck down to look at me.  
"You mean nothing to me," he said in a low voice. "Now leave."

I spent the rest of the night crying. Again. It was becoming a routine. This time was different though. This time hurt. I didn't sleep at all and I knew it didn't matter. No way he would hold training tomorrow.  
My sadness turned to anger. I replayed the scene in my head over and over and every time I hurt less and angered more. I hated him since the beginning, whether we connected in a way or not, he was always a thorn in my side. He was an asshole, and I knew my place was simply a tool to further the First Order in their quest against the resistance. I wasn't brought here to be involved in this drama, I was brought to learn the force. And nothing fueled the force more than anger.  
I could feel it's sizzle inside me, desperate to come out in pure strength and power. I destroyed my room that night, lashing out in the only way I knew how. It was the most seductive and beautiful feeling I had ever experienced. I felt like an entirely new person in those few hours and I knew he would be proud, but he would also be jealous.  
I decided to go back to my old self in the way I was with other people. That meant I was in control. Yes, he was still my mentor, but I would have control of myself and my actions like I had lost sight of before. If he wanted to hurt me, then I could hurt him too. What I saw wasn't a lie.


	14. Kylo Ren

I didn't know how to control my feelings. I was used to anger and fear and anything that the dark side fed off of, but this was different. It hurt.  
I had to tell her she meant nothing to me and it was the hardest I'd ever had to do. Through all the violence and darkness I'd committed, this was the worst. It's what I had to do.   
I was beyond embarrassed, and I was forever grateful for the helmet that shielded the tears threatening to fall from my eyes.   
I could tell I hurt her. You could see it written plainly on her face, and I tried so hard not to cave and bring her into my arms and confess everything. It was better that she thought my secrets were fabricated.   
I wanted her to come back so badly, and stay away at the same time. I wanted to take her back to her planet and never see her again, and take her into my room and make her stay there. I didn't know what I wanted.

I knew she'd expected me to cancel the next days training and that's exactly why I didn't. She emerged from her room with puffy eyes and dark circles from lack of sleep. I wanted to feel bad but she'd seen everything and it served her right.   
We had to keep the mind reading practice going so I pulled in a random trooper for her to practice on rather than myself. She was smug when she saw him come in.   
She was more snarky and sarcastic than normal, throwing jabs in whenever she got the chance and shamelessly flirting with the nervous trooper. It drove me crazy.

When we finished our session I went straight to Snoke to give him the regular update he required.   
"I'm sending you on a mission," he said lazily.   
"Yes supreme leader. I'll prepare Arema then."  
"No. You won't," he replied. "She will not be accompanying you on this one."  
I was surprised.   
"What of her training then?"   
"I'm sure she's perfectly capable of continuing her lessons on her own Ren. You leave tomorrow. It's a five day mission. I expect some form of information on the resistance when you get back. Do not disappoint me again."  
His hologram disappeared after he said this and I stood there for a moment, shocked and worried about leaving her here. Hux was on base.

I spent the rest of the day in thought. I had to go tell Arema that I'd be gone.   
I finally gathered my courage and left my room, intent on staying as stoic as possible while delivering the news to her.   
I knocked on her door and waited, and I began to fidget with nerves. There was no answer.   
I listened for any sign of life behind her door and heard nothing. She wasn't in there.   
I checked the cafeteria thinking she had probably gone to grab herself some dinner but she wasn't in there either. I wandered aimlessly around, feeling like an idiot. I found my way to the major control rooms where troopers and staff were teeming with activity. This was where Hux was most prominently found.   
I could hear his voice in a nearby room and I resisted the urge to go and strangle him.   
I heard a laugh. _Her_ laugh.   
She was with him.   
I squared my shoulders and strolled into the room to find Hux showing Arema a set of controls, his hand placed on the small of her back.   
I saw red.   
The second the anger hit she turned around, knowing I was there by her acute sense of emotions.   
Her face showed nothing.  
I figured she would at least be surprised to have me see her in such a situation. I didn't understand what she was doing. She had been so upset before when the general had made a move on her, she'd wanted me to get him away from her. All the sudden they were okay? It didn't make any sense.   
She simply stared at me and cocked an eyebrow.   
"Arema. A word please," I said as evenly as I could.   
She shot a glance at Hux and he turned back to the controls as she sauntered over to me.   
"What's up Kylo?"  
I studied her, reaching into her mind and saw only one memory. The only one not completely blocked.   
It was of her and Hux kissing. She didn't project this, but she knew I'd look, so she allowed this and this only to be free game if I so chose to find it.   
It felt like a knife.   
It happened after our session. Hux had come to her room and they were talking before she'd allowed him to kiss her; and she kissed him back. It ended with her pulling away and directing him to leave, which he obliged with a cynical smile, and the memory cut off.   
It had to be fake.   
_Tell me it isn't real_ , I sent her my thoughts.   
_What difference would it make_ , she came back with.   
I clenched my jaw so hard I thought my teeth would shatter.   
I led her out of the control room.   
"I'm leaving," I told her.   
"Where?  
"On a mission."  
"Why am I not going as well?" She asked, annoyed.   
"Snoke doesn't think you're ready," I lied.   
"That's bull and you know it," she said coolly. "The only thing I haven't learned yet is combat."  
"You will remain here and practice the skills you have already been taught. Snoke expects you to spend time on this while I'm gone."  
She shrugged, "fine."  
Her demeanor was borderline cruel, like she'd detached herself from everything. I knew it was a facade but she didn't falter and it made my confidence waiver.   
We stood there for too long, staring at each other trying to look into the others mind.  
 _Tell me it isn't real_.   
"No," she said out loud.   
_Why would you do that_?  
"Does it hurt?" She asked.  
I sat on this for a moment. Did it hurt me that she had kissed Hux?  
It didn't take even a second for me to realize that it hurt more than anything I'd ever done or had gone through in my entire life. It was salt in an already gaping wound.   
"You did it on purpose," I whispered, not bothering to keep my end of the conversation within thoughts.   
"Does it hurt?" She asked again.   
I wanted to tell her it didn't. That I didn't care, like I'd told her the previous night, that she meant nothing to me.   
"More than you know," I murmured.   
Her eyebrows knitted together briefly before the blank unrelenting look came back over her features.   
"Good," she said without emotion.  
She turned and left. Not back to Hux, but back the way that eventually led to her room.   
I stood there for a few minutes trying to make sense of everything, working on controlling my breathing into even pulls and steady exhales.   
I couldn't even be angry. I was only devastated. This mission couldn't have come at a better time.

I awoke the next morning with a whole two hours of sleep under my belt. I had to leave soon. I wanted to say goodbye to Arema but I didn't think she cared. I dressed robotically, placing my helmet over my dark tousled hair and eyes rimmed with dark circles.   
A trooper came by to notify me that my ship and the troopers accompanying me were ready. It killed me to leave. Hux wasn't coming and neither was Arema and it felt like some sort of sick twisted dream. The thought of leaving her here with him while I was so far away was nauseating.   
I made my way down to the launch bay with a few troopers trailing behind, their minds filled with fear of me. At least I still had that going for me. When I arrived at the ship the only thing left to do was get on and go, but I stalled for a minute, asking the men unnecessary questions.   
I felt her then. Her presence was intoxicating, and I turned to see her at the entrance across the bay.   
Her mind was shut. She simply stared with her arms crossed.   
"Sir we're all ready to go," I was interrupted by a trooper.   
I nodded and got on the ship. I made my way to the front windows where the pilots were and she was still there, her face crestfallen. I don't know that she saw me watching her but until we were flying I could see her clearly. She looked miserable, almost torn.


	15. Arema

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The helmet is off this chapter and the fluffy pre-smut is here! Bare with me, I know it's a long wait but the smut is coming. Pun fully intended.

I don't know what was wrong with me. A change had gone through me. I refused to cry anymore, I wanted to go back to my old ways and be in control. I wanted to not care what Kylo thought and be comfortable with hating him again. I wanted to tell Hux to leave me alone, but because of my stupid mistake of kissing him, he was in overdrive. He constantly checked on me and came by my room, trying to be sly. Kylo would be gone for five days and Hux loved it.   
The only reason I'd kissed him was to make Kylo jealous. Call me a bitch but I had to see if his thoughts of me were actually lies or not. It made me feel like a child, a teenager, but I had to know if it would bother him at all. He said it hurt. My moment with Hux had hurt him and that killed me. I thought it would satisfy me but it only made me want to take everything back and go back to the way it was when we were both oblivious.  
I hadn't kissed Hux again. I didn't so much as let him touch me. In fact, now that Kylo was gone on a mission I was ruthless to the General, not caring how I came off in the slightest.   
It bothered me. Kylo and I had fought so much off and on with small periods of friendship in between. It was almost like he purposely kept himself angry so as not to be too personal with me. I could see that now. Maybe he wasn't this horrible person with no personality, but rather a conflicted man who was the same age as me and he was struggling between feelings for me and trying to keep himself level on the dark side.   
I wanted to hate him. I _did_ hate him. I couldn't stop thinking about him. I regretted what I did, maybe if I hadn't done it things would've gone back to normal. As normal as they could be.

I practiced day in and day out like Kylo and Snoke wanted, but I thought of him all the time. I obsessed over it. I wondered what he looked like, if he was thinking of me, how awkward things would be when he came back. I worried about him. I was scared he'd get hurt wherever he was and it drove me insane. Until now I didn't care what he thought or at most I simply enjoyed his company. I was weirdly comfortable around him, but after everything happened and blew up into a crescendo of fucked up events, I had shut myself off. I thought I could be strong and not care, but I did. This was never an issue for me before. Apparently it was for him according to what I saw; he'd thought about me all the time.   
It was karma at its finest and she was a raging bitch. I couldn't rid my mind of the angry, annoying, infuriating, impossible but strong and protective being that was Kylo Ren.  
*****************  
It was day five. The day he was due to return.   
I'd spent all of the time he was away working. I'd gotten good at the skills I'd learned. Even though I had some rough moments and he wasn't there to give me direction, I figured it out. I would roam the halls reading the thoughts of those around me and I used the force to bring anything to or from me. All I needed was combat training.   
I was an anxious mess all day waiting for his arrival. I didn't eat anything. I never stopped moving.   
I knew he was back when I heard the annoyed voice of Hux, complaining to Phasma that 'our peaceful vacation' was over. I hid in my room and thrummed my fingers in front of me.   
Louie came by to tell me kylo was meeting with Snoke, and that he seemed tired.   
I finally emerged from my room when my hunger couldn't wait any longer. My stomach growled at me in protest so I ran to the cafeteria to shut it up. I grabbed some food and dodged a few invitations for conversation from some of the troopers and I half walked half ran back to my room and threw the door open with a wave of my hand.   
Standing awkwardly in the middle of my quarters was the tall dark presence of Kylo Ren himself.   
I froze on the spot and reinforced the shield on my mind.   
We stood there in silence for an eternity. He didn't so much as twitch.   
I couldn't stand it. My heart hammered.   
"Hey..." I whispered.   
"Hi," he said softly.   
"Are you okay?"  
"Why wouldn't I be?" He asked, confused.  
"I don't know."  
We stood there for a few minutes studying each other to see who would crack first.   
"How was the mission," I did first.   
He finally broke his statuesque stance and motioned to my new, non destroyed, table.   
"Eat your food. You haven't eaten all day."  
Of course he knew. He always knew.   
I walked slowly to the table and sat down. He followed suit and sat directly across from me.   
"The mission was successful. We got a couple resistance leads but no solid information. A lot of people had to die," he said with no emotion.   
I started to eat half of a sandwich and I heard his stomach growl.   
He looked down and shifted in his seat.   
"Here," I said handing him the other half.   
"No thank you."  
"Oh knock it off Kylo. You're hungry. Swallow your pride for two seconds."  
He pulled his hands from his lap and slowly pulled off his gloves. Long, strong fingers emerged and I couldn't stop staring at them, my sandwich held midway to my mouth.   
His hands looked soft and I dragged my eyes away from them back to my food and took a bite. He reached out and grabbed the other half and stared at it sitting in front of him for a couple minutes.   
"So are you like a filter feeder or do you have some sort of mechanism that shoves things into your mouth from your helmet?" I tried to remain calm.   
His hands raised to the sides of his helmet and his fingers found themselves into what I assumed were buttons on either side of his jaw.   
My heart pounded in my chest.   
The black piece over his mouth unlocked with a swishing noise and he ducked his head to remove the helmet.   
Long dark hair like a crow.   
He placed his helmet on the table and looked up at me.   
I dropped my food.   
I couldn't breathe.   
This was the tireless, angry mentor I'd dealt with the entire time. My age.   
I stared at him without restraint or regret for it. He had long features, his jaw was soft and his nose was slightly crooked which only made it attractive, and he had full lips which stole my gaze for a moment too long. The worst part were his eyes. They were the most intoxicating brown, full of emotion and something of a mixture of nervousness and longing. He was beautiful. It's an odd word to describe a man as but that's what first came to mind.   
My breath came out slightly heavier and his lips parted slightly. My stomach felt odd, flipping.   
He grabbed the piece of sandwich gracefully and took a bite, chewing slowly.   
His eyes hardened a bit and he swallowed.   
My mouth felt dry. I took a drink of water to quench it.   
"How's Hux?" He finally said and I choked.   
His voice. I never put thought into the fact that the distorted voice of his helmet wasn't the way he actually sounded.   
It was deep, and soft, laced with jealousy and his jaw clenched momentarily.   
"I don't know. You'll have to ask him," I replied in a small voice. "Why _now_?" He stared at me rather than responding.   
"Why do you choose to show me your face now of all times?"  
He looked down for a second before his eyes slid back up to meet mine and I wanted to look away.   
"I have nothing to lose now," he responded. "You saw everything I tried to hide."  
It was true then.   
"I only kissed him to piss you off. I can't stand him and he makes me itchy with how uncomfortable I am around him."  
His lips twitched slightly.   
"You can smile. It's not illegal," I teased. Sarcasm was the only way I knew how to lighten a mood.   
He just stared, and took another bite of food.   
"Tell me," I whispered.   
"Tell you what."  
"Why you lied"  
"About what?"  
"What I saw in your head," I was getting annoyed.   
"Because I don't want you."  
That stung.   
"You lied. I know what I saw. You wouldn't have freaked out and you wouldn't have made that up. You're not intentionally self deprecating. You say you don't want me but you spent training sessions studying my body while I focused. It hurt you when I kissed Hux," his eye barely twitched when I said this. "You try so hard to be indifferent and careless but I'm not an idiot Kylo."  
His gaze hardened and I continued.   
"I fucking hate you. You make me miserable and just when I think we're in a good place one day, you make some off handed comment or get angry for some stupid reason and then we have to start over. It's always taking a step forward and five steps back with you. I fucking hate you."  
His knuckles were white on the table.   
"I hate you, and I couldn't get you out of my mind for two damn seconds the entire time you were gone."  
I heard him take in a slight gasp so light I could've missed it if I wasn't so focused on his mouth.   
He stood up from the table and placed the unfinished sandwich back on my tray.  
"What do you want me to say Arema," he said in a dull voice.   
I used the force and the tray of food flew off the table onto the floor. I was angry now. I flew up and walked to where he was standing and he whipped to the side to face me, flinching slightly at my sudden display of rage. Not a flinch in fear. A flinch in what I guessed was him holding back his own anger.   
"I want the truth!" I yelled. "Tell me what you want from me!"  
His lips curled and his fists clenched. He flexed his jaw too many times.  
"I want you to do your job as an apprentice."  
"No!" I was screaming now. "Stop avoiding everything," I was going crazy and I couldn't handle it. I yelled and grabbed his forearms.   
I could feel his arms tighten beneath my hands and his eyes grew angry.   
"I thought I told you," he started, pulling his arms from me and grabbing my shoulders. He pushed me against the table and brought his mouth inches from my ear. "Do _not_ touch me."  
We were too close. I couldn't take it.   
He pulled away and his eyes met mine and I tried to handle my rushed breathing. We locked stares and stayed there. His breathing became labored and both of ours became tangled.   
"Tell me the truth," I whispered this time.   
"I can't."  
"Why?"  
"Because you're my apprentice," he said quietly.   
"I don't care."  
"You already saw it Arema." He looked devastated, like it hurt him to say this.   
I knew the truth. I knew he needed me, longed for me. I had to hear him say it so I knew it was real.   
"Please," I sighed.   
His face was so close. I couldn't process that it was actually happening; that not only did I know what he looked like now but that his lips were not more than a foot away. His hands still held their grip on my shoulders.  
He looked desperate for something, a distraction maybe.  
I bit my lip waiting for a let down and his eyes darted to my mouth where my teeth grazed my bottom lip.   
All of the sudden his body pressed against mine. His hands moved, placed on the table on either side of me, about the height of the small of my back and his head craned down so that our foreheads were pressed together.   
I squirmed, feeling a heat inside me that I hadn't felt in a while, and my breath became embarrassingly loud.   
He moved so that his lips almost touched mine and he whispered, "I wanted you the second I saw you."  
A shutter went through me and I expected him to kiss me but he didn't. I was right that he didn't have experience with women. I could feel his nerves and hesitance.   
He was expecting a response but I had none. Instead I closed the distance between our lips and pressed mine lightly to his, exhaling a breath I didn't know I'd held. His body pressed into mine harder and I could feel him shiver lightly.  
He was unsure so I took the opportunity to harden the kiss, pressing my lips into his and moving my hands from their position by my sides to his waste. He was lean, and felt strong, his arms flexing by my sides.   
He moved them and grabbed my thighs, lifting me up onto the table. I parted my lips and he obliged, sighing when he could taste me.   
I refrained from ravaging him right then and there. This was still crazy to me.   
He pressed into the table and pulled my hips into his and I let out a small moan. His hands clenched when he heard me and he pulled away and took the chance to venture around my neck and jaw, placing small opened mouth kisses anywhere he could. Biting my neck softly, I couldn't handle it and I grabbed his face, guiding it back to mine. His hands explored my body but he never dared to remove any clothing, content with kissing me alone. I tangled my hands into the hair at the nape of his neck and he became desperate.   
As always, there was a knock at the door and he pulled away from me quickly, grabbing his helmet and shoving it back on his head. I opened it with a wave of my hand and there stood general Hux.


	16. Kylo Ren

I was breathless. Kissing her felt absolutely incredible and I never wanted to stop. I wanted to take her back to my room and not allow her to leave it.   
I was beyond nervous, I'd never spent time with a woman like I had with Arema, much less doing anything like _that_.   
I wanted to explore every part of her body and the sensation was new to me.

Of course we were interrupted by Hux. It was almost a blessing if I'm being honest. I was terrified.   
I had never felt before like I did even touching Arema, and we had been kissing. I didn't know what to do with myself. I wanted more but I was unsure, and despite my hate for Hux, the interruption was a chance for me to catch my breath.   
I had replaced my helmet just as the door opened but I had left my gloves back on the table and Arema had slid off of it slowly. I chanced a look over to where they lay behind her, my eyes moving to her face. She was staring at Hux with wide eyes, making it obvious that something was going on and I cursed to myself. The General's gaze shifting to me and immediately landed on my exposed hands.   
"Well well," he said cynically. "Interesting that I find you here in the evening, Ren. With your gloves off no less." He raised his eyebrows in a mocking gesture.   
"What do my gloves have to do with anything?"  
"Well seeing as how your apprentice didn't so much as know your age, it's safe to assume she's never seen your flesh. One can easily deduce that _something_ must have been going on prior to my arrival, also given the tray of food scattered about the floor."  
I grimaced beneath my helmet.   
"That was me lashing out in anger, Hux," Arema finally spoke.   
He looked back to her and narrowed his eyes.   
"What's this about Arema?"  
"It's about my mentor returning home from a trip and making his presence known. It's about him updating me on our future training schedule and me being angry as usual by his infuriating responses."  
Hux smiled at this, "I wonder what the supreme leader would think of such a suggestive situation as this."  
Arema clenched her fists.   
I wanted to hold her.   
"Arema. My gloves please."  
She turned slowly and made a show of sliding them from the table, walking over to me, her back to Hux.   
She stood in front of me, her eyes turned up to look directly at me through my mask.   
_Why is he here, Arema_?  
 _I don't know Kylo_ , she sent.   
_Why would he see it fit to come by your room this late in the evening_?  
Her eyes raked down the length of my body and back up again.   
_What are you suggesting_ , she said with an offended look on her face.   
"Honestly it doesn't take this long to give somebody their gloves," Hux called.   
"And what do you think the supreme leader would think of _you_ coming by my room so late at night Hux?" Arema asked.   
He simply smiled, "I have a legitimate reason."  
"Kylo Ren is my mentor. He's training me to use the force. His being here is only strengthening supreme leader Snoke. Is that not a legitimate reason?" she said evenly.   
I resisted the urge to reach out and touch her.   
_Control your thought_ s, her voice came to me. I turned red.   
_Let me kill him then_.   
She let out a snort and Hux grew angrier.   
"I'm not an idiot! Arema. A word alone please," he snapped.   
"Whatever you so urgently need to bring to my attention can easily be discussed in his presence as well, general. He holds jurisdiction over the both of us, I believe."  
"Not when it comes to my troops," he sneered.   
"Is this a matter of your troops? Because I belong to him as far as I'm concerned."  
My heart stuttered at this. I knew she didn't mean it in _that_ way but it sounded so nice. I didn't even know if we had anything at this point, we'd only kissed and she still hated me.   
Hux fumed. "Fine. I wanted to address the other day. Last week. When you kissed me."  
He made a point of looking at me then and I stepped out in front of Arema.   
"Enough General. You're out of line," I demanded.   
"I'm speaking to the woman."  
"You kissed me Hux. I only obliged so that you'd get off my back and stop fucking bothering me," Arema said.   
"Bull shit," Hux dared.   
"Ok fine," Arema sighed. "Truth? You make me uncomfortable. Your damn attractive but holy shit, you're forward. Maybe if you were a little more collected with your...desires, it wouldn't come off so abrasive and I might have found it to be more of a challenge. The fact of the matter is, I didn't want to kiss you. I only did it to piss off Kylo because he was being an asshole. As per usual. So bring your head back down to normal size and get over it."   
She had walked around me and was standing directly in front of Hux, his face turning red all the while and he ran a hand through his neatly combed hair.   
I resisted the urge to laugh and force choke him at the same time but the look on his face was satisfying enough.   
He closed the distance between him and Arema and grabbed her left arm, yanking her toward him, and I made to launch myself at him but Arema's thoughts stopped me.   
_Let me handle it_.   
"I don't know what's going on here, but whatever it is stops now," he growled lowly into her face.   
"I have no idea what you're talking about. What could possibly prompt you into coming here at this time to talk about a kiss. What did you need to know other than the fact that it wasn't real?" Arema asked.   
"Be careful with him," he warned.   
"I was told the same of you, general," she countered.   
I couldn't stand there any longer.   
"Let go of her," I said in warning.   
Hux grimaced. "When you need somebody who knows how to actually please a woman, let me know," he whispered.   
Arema's other hand moved over to pull his off of her arm but he tightened his grip. She pulled harder and he simply stared at her.   
I couldn't hold it any longer. He was suddenly gasping for air and dropped her arm, his hands grasped at his throat. Arema turned and noticed the hand I was holding out, but she didn't say a word. I threw him against the closed door and released him only when I knew he couldn't take it any longer. I manually opened the door and told him to get up.   
He pulled himself up and held a look of pure hate, glancing between the both of us before turning and stalking out of the room.   
The moment he was gone Arema sunk to the floor on her knees, head held in her hands. I didn't know what to do.   
"It's getting late, Kylo."   
I got the hint but I couldn't just leave.   
"Arema."  
She looked up at me with pleading eyes. "I'm sorry," she whispered. "I need to be alone."  
I remained blank, turning to leave and hesitating at the door. "We will resume training at our usual time tomorrow."  
I felt her nod and I left the room with her still on the floor.

The next morning I hesitated at her door, wanting to wake her up, but nervous for how she might act toward me after the previous night.   
The door opened, and there she stood. She smiled weakly and was already dressed and ready for our session.   
"Wow. I didn't have to wake you up? That's a first," I teased trying to test the waters.   
"Yea I didn't really sleep too much last night," she shrugged.   
We began walking to the elevator in silence. I had no idea what to say or how these things usually went.   
We got to the training room and walked over to the mat and waited.   
"We get to start combat training."  
She smiled in response, I knew she'd been excited for this portion of training.   
"We will start with basic hand to hand and self defense."  
"Wait. No sabers?" She pouted.   
I chuckled, "no not quite yet."  
She looked disappointed but I knew she'd get over it.   
I walked over to the mat and removed my helmet.   
"Is this a regular thing now?" She asked.   
I set it on the floor and gave her an annoyed look. I searched for something in her expression, but found nothing different from the norm.   
I removed layers of clothing like my cloak and hood until I stood before her in my black pants and a basic black t-shirt. Her gaze drifted over me and held on my arms for a moment.   
"I didn't know you owned normal clothes..."  
I chose to ignore her.   
I approached her and began to go over basic defense moves, pushing my hair away from my face. Her eyes lingered places and I found it hard to concentrate.   
We spent the day going over these moves and a few times I had to pull away, I couldn't handle the close proximity. Teaching her defense from an attack from behind was the most difficult. I could feel her flush against me and it took everything in me to remain professional.   
She however, acted like nothing was different. I didn't understand her at all. We ended the day in the afternoon and she left with a wave, her demeanor calm and collected, as if nothing had ever happened.


	17. Arema

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There will be NO rape in this fic but Hux is a perv so if that shit bothers you then here is your trigger warning.   
> The smut will be here in the next chapter or two so hang in there if that's what you need to see. If you've hung out this long I both applaud and appreciate you.

I got back to my room after our training session and threw myself face first into my bed.  
It was so difficult to go through the day with Kylo, with his helmet off, and act normal. I figured he would have been prudish about showing his face after what happened between us the previous night, but he'd taken it even further and had shed his clothing down to just a t-shirt and pants. I didn't know what to do with myself, his arms were long and muscled and I kept staring at them.   
I wanted to act like nothing had happened because I didn't know how to deal with it. It was so weird and random and Hux knew something was up and now I was scared Kylo would get in trouble. Juvenile, I know.   
I didn't know what to do with myself for the remainder of the day, and I groaned into my pillow.   
"This is typical," I muttered to myself. "You kiss the guy and things get weird. Oh hey Ren. We totally kissed and now I can't stop thinking about you. Worse than it was before. Mind if I jump your bones now?" I groaned again and pushed myself up.   
I paced around, thinking of Hux too. He was so confident last night, showing up so late to 'talk' about a kiss. I knew I'd gotten my point across but I also knew he wasn't finished. It sparked my anger and I knew I'd have to draw the line with him.   
I ventured out of my room, anger igniting my confidence. I was more mad that he'd interrupted us, I could still feel Kylo's hands run over my body and it made me shiver.   
I found my way up the few flights to where the control rooms were most prominent and troopers streamed by me, sending a little wave when they went by. I'd made quite a few friends in my short time here and I read their minds as they walked by. A couple were scared of me, and a darkness deep inside of me smiled, they knew my power had grown. A few thought I was attractive.   
I rounded a corner and came upon the main command center and I could hear Hux.   
He turned when he saw me and raised an eyebrow, dismissing the trooper he was giving orders to.   
He sauntered over and cocked his head. "To what do I owe the pleasure, Arema?"  
Gross.   
"Why did you come by so late?"  
"Why was Ren there so late," he replied.   
"He doesn't need a reason. You do."  
He shifted his weight and crossed his arms. "May we speak in private?"  
I knew I could handle him but a chill went up my spine.   
"Fine."  
He led me to a nearby empty control room, it's computers and panels beeping loudly and the sound was deafening. _I shouldn't be alone with him_ , I thought.   
My thoughts flew to Kylo and how mad he would be. Part of me wanted to leave and the other part reveled in the thought of his jealousy, it made me want him more.   
I settled my back against a clear wall and Hux faced me.   
"What were you guys doing?"  
"I owe you no explanation. I was eating and he was debriefing me."  
"On what?" He demanded.   
"On the mission he just went on!" My temper was elevating.   
I could feel the force wanting to come out, ebbing within me, excited. I pushed it back.   
"I don't buy it. He never takes his gloves off."  
"Holy shit what is with you and the damn gloves, Hux? Let's say something happened. What's it to you?"  
He inched closer and I stiffened.   
"Because you're mine."  
Wow. Did he just...  
"That's confident of you. I belong to no one." I gathered myself.   
"I sought you out first," he said.   
"Actually it was Kylo, given that I'm here and all."  
"You want him," he accused.   
"No. I want to learn the force. I want power."  
He smiled.   
"I can give you power."  
"He already has," I said in a hard voice.   
He came closer. My pulse elevated.   
He placed a hand on the wall next to my head and I made to slide away, but he slammed his other hand on the opposite side.   
"I'm not done with you," he growled.   
"Back. Away. Hux. I don't want to hurt you."  
He threw his head back and let out a loud laugh.   
"You hurt me and you're as good as gone. I just want to talk," he said lowly, his breath fanning across my face.   
"Kiss me again. I'll show you things Ren can't."  
"Like what," I replied. I thought of the previous night. Kylo's hands pulling me closer to him and my breath hitched.   
Hux took this as a reaction to him and pressed into me.   
"You won't be thinking of him. You'll be begging for me," his pupils dilated with lust. I could feel his desire through his pants.   
I let out a soft laugh and he pressed his lips to mine, bending his elbows around me and pushing into me.   
I choked and I froze. I didn't know what to do but I could feel my anger ignite, it's flames licking beneath my skin. I silently begged for Kylo, wanting him near me. I remembered my lesson in self defense. I couldn't force choke or anything yet but I tried. I gathered the flames and beckoned the force to me, it's seductive power flowing within me and I felt a release with it.   
My hands were by my side and I brought them up to either side of his head and focused everything I had into hurting him. For a moment nothing happened and he moved his lips to my jaw, biting the tender skin there.   
I growled and he pressed in harder and I felt everything in me release and he dropped to the floor clutching his head.   
He screamed and writhed beneath me and I kept my hands focused on his head, pressing harder. He kicked his legs out and sputtered unintelligible words.   
I was aware of a white flash and I was pulled into a trooper's arms.   
Hux bent forward and gasped, trying to catch his breath. I fought against the constraints of the storm troopers arms and only stopped when I heard a soft voice over my shoulder.   
"Arema. It's me, it's okay. Relax, you're fine now"  
It was Louie. I let my body go slack and I was faintly aware of Hux pulling himself to a standing position, throwing himself in my direction and Louie spun me around behind him, pulling out his blaster in one swift movement and resting the end of the barrel on Hux's forehead.   
I peered out from behind my friend and Hux's eyes slid down to Louie's chest.   
"LN-2168. Remove your weapon immediately."  
Nobody budged.   
"You touch her and I pull the trigger," Louie growled.   
Hux raised his hands in surrender and Louie lowered his weapon.   
"You will be tried for this, trooper," Hux said.   
"That's fine," my friend countered.   
"No," I growled. "He will not. His job is protect those of the first order. Superior officer or not, he did his job."  
Hux settled his gaze on me.   
"Snoke will hear of this."  
"And when I tell Snoke what you've done, you will be in deeper shit than I will. I'm sure he would enjoy the power I just demonstrated."  
He stood there and heaved, attempting to regain control of his breathing.   
"Enough. You're dismissed trooper."  
Louie re holstered his blaster and put a hand on my arm. "Come Arema."  
I obliged and we back out the door, leaving Hux shaking with anger behind us.

We walked in silence back down to the 300 level.   
"Where are we going," I whispered.   
Louie stopped and removed his helmet, placing it under his arm. "To see Kylo Ren."  
I jumped. "No. No not now. I can't. He'll know."  
"Exactly," he replied, beginning to walk again.   
I grabbed his arm and he didn't let up but he looked down at me, his beautiful eyes full of sadness. "I'm sorry Arema. I'm sorry that had to happen."  
"Nothing happened really. I hurt him," I replied.   
He smiled and we pulled up to Kylo's door.   
It slid open before Louie could announce our presence.   
Kylo stood in the frame, helmet in place and was silent for a moment. I entered his mind and saw nothing but I felt confusion.   
"What's going on," he said.   
Louie shifted. "Sir."  
"No formalities. You're her friend. What's wrong," I could feel his voice grow more tense.   
Tears pricked the back of my eyes and he noticed, his gaze settling on me.   
"Uh. General Hux, si-uh Kylo," Louie said in discomfort.   
I felt Kylo brace.   
"Thank you Louie. I'll take it from here," he said in a tight voice and he held his hand out to me.   
My stomach flipped and I wanted to run into him. I grabbed his hand but let go to pull Louie into an embrace.   
"Hide," I whispered.   
"No. I accept responsibility." He pulled away and saluted to Kylo awkwardly before turning, and leaving.   
I grabbed Kylo's hand again and he led me inside his room.


	18. Kylo Ren

Arema grabbed my hand and I guided her through the entrance of my door. She looked unsure and shaken. Louie only mentioned Hux and when I picked his brain I saw flickers of his blaster pointed at him. I liked him already.   
"Louie can't be tried Kylo!" Arema was in a panic. The second the door slid closed she dropped my hand and paced around the main area of my living quarters.   
"Slow down. Louie's not going anywhere."  
"What do you mean anywhere?!"  
I sighed. "Usually in a situation such as pointing a blaster at a superior officer ends in disposal. He would be executed or exiled."  
Her jaw dropped and she ran up to me, grabbing my arms. She looked down at her hands and dropped them, muttering an apology.   
I didn't care anymore. I wanted her to touch me now.   
She tried forming words but she began to cry instead.   
"It'll be okay, Arema. I won't let anything happen to him."  
"You have to promise, Kylo," she stammered. "Promise me."  
"I promise."  
She walked over to a seating area and I walked the opposite way to a newer table I hadn't destroyed yet and I removed my helmet and gloves, running a hand back through my hair.   
She was biting her fingernails, tears slowly making their way down her cheeks.   
"What happened Arema?" I asked.   
Her eyes darted to me and softened for a moment.   
"I can't," she muttered, and a new tear dropped down and landed on her hand.   
"Then show me." I was getting worried and heated. All I knew was that it was Hux. What had he done to her? I felt the panic and jealousy and anger rise in me and I tried to calm myself. "Please."  
She shifted so that she sat cross legged and brought her head into her hands.   
I waited patiently.   
I watched her form bring in gulps of air and she was the most beautiful thing I'd ever seen, even in her state of panic.   
She sighed and I was suddenly hit with a series of images, her fingers braced as she sent me the projections.   
She'd gone to Hux. On her own. My jealousy flared.   
He'd made a move on her and I could feel the emotions she had experienced. She had longed for me in the moment, and I drew in a breath. I watched what he tried to do and my eyes widened when I saw that she was able to use the force to figuratively crush his head. I swelled with pride and anger. I wanted to kill him and I wanted to kiss her. Louie had come in when Hux was on the ground and defended her. He deserved a medal as far as I was concerned.   
The memory cut off and I stood there in silence, shaking.   
She brought her head up slowly and looked at me with what could only be taken as an apologetic plea.   
"I'm sorry," she whispered.   
"For what?"  
She bit her lip. "I shouldn't have gone to talk to him. I wanted to end it. I wanted to tell him to leave me alone. I shouldn't have gone."  
I didn't know what to say.   
I thought for a minute before responding.   
"No. You shouldn't have," I told her. "But I understand why you did and he was out of line. You handled the situation perfectly."  
She frowned.   
"No I didn't. I hesitated. He was able to touch me." She visibly shook herself.   
"You brought out a power you didn't know you could accomplish yet. I hadn't taught you how to do that and you still did it. I'm sure he won't be bothering you any longer," I told her.   
I walked over and sat in the chair across from her and played with my hands.   
"I'm glad you came to me," I said.   
"I didn't want to. Louie brought me here."  
My hand twitched.   
"No. It's not like that. I just thought you'd be mad. I was scared to see you like this."  
"Don't be scared. I'm only angry with hux and I'm grateful to your friend," I replied.   
She sighed and wiped the tear tracks from her cheeks.   
"How many rooms are in here?" She asked, looking around.   
I smiled lightly. She always knew how to change the subject.   
"This room, a control room, a bathroom, and my bedroom," I said uncomfortably. My voice lingered on the word bedroom.   
Her cheeks turned red.   
"Well shit. I thought _my_ room was nice..."  
We sat in silence for a moment. I was nervous. Her eyes flicked around like she was too.  
"We should uh...talk about-"  
"It is what it is, Kylo."  
"And what is it?" I asked longingly.   
"A problem," she muttered.   
My heart dropped. I knew she still harbored distaste for me.   
"What do I do now?" She asked.   
"You stay here," I chanced.   
"What do you mean?"  
"I will not allow you to sleep in your room tonight. No way."  
She swallowed. "But.."  
"You can sleep in my bed. I won't disturb you. I have business to attend to."  
"It's late, Kylo. Does this 'business' have anything to do with _him_?"  
I tried not to raise my lips in disgust. Of course it was about Hux. I knew she'd be mad if I went to him though.   
"No," I lied.   
"Liar."  
"It's nothing to concern yourself with. You may shower or do as you please. Make yourself comfortable."  
I stood and so did she. It was awkward.   
She shifted in place. "Okay. Thanks."  
I went and grabbed my helmet and replaced it over my head.   
"Kylo," she called from the other side of the room. "Don't...make things worse."  
I cocked my head at her.   
"I mean. Don't kill anyone. Please."  
I understood.   
"Get some rest," came my distorted voice. It was a comfort to myself.   
I turned and threw the door open and strode from the room, feeling myself growing more and more angry.

I got to the command center and Hux wasn't there. It was late, only a few techs and troopers remained. I demanded where he was and one of them stammered out that he had retired for the night. They knew something was up and they were terrified.   
I extended my stride, hurrying to where Hux lived and when I got to his door I slammed my fist against it.   
He opened the door with an annoyed look and when he saw it was me his expression hardened.   
"Test me right now, Ren."  
I didn't bother using the force when I grabbed him by the throat and pushed him into his living space, using my other hand to wave the door closed behind me.   
He grabbed onto the arm I had locked onto him and snarled.  
I released him and pushed him back, causing him to stumble and fall against a chair.   
"Consider this a restraining order, Hux. You touch her again and you're fucking done!"  
He sneered at me and composed himself.   
"How dare you come here and speak to me that way. She doesn't want you. How do you not understand?" He spit out.   
I chose to lower myself to his level.   
"And you think she wants you? She could have killed you. How is that not a hint that she doesn't want _you_?"   
He attempted a smile.   
"You don't even know how to please a woman, Ren. I'd have her begging my name for more." He was trying to egg me on.   
I removed my helmet and dropped it.   
I smiled and he looked confused.   
"Then why is she in my bed as we speak?" I said in a dripping, malicious tone.   
His face dropped for a moment and I smiled harder.   
"Taking advantage of an upset woman isn't a win."  
"It isn't a competition, General, and you're clearly admitting to have upset her. She asked me not to kill anybody tonight, so I'll thank her for you for sparing your life. But you so much as get within ten feet of her and I won't so much as ask Snoke for his permission to turn your insides out."  
He stood in silence, fuming.   
"Also. The trooper. LN-2168. He goes unpunished."  
"Absolutely not. He will be tried as is in accordance with the standards we set here," he said.   
"No. He will be given praise by myself for remaining true to his duty as a storm trooper of the First Order. No trial will be given."  
I walked over and grabbed my helmet. "Test me, General."  
I left him standing there, looking like he wished he could say something but he knew he had nothing.

I made it back to my room and I hesitated. Arema was in there. In my bed.   
I walked in and set my helmet and gloves down. I made my way to the bathroom and I could see the last bits of steam on the walls and mirror, meaning she had taken a shower. I stood and thought about it for longer than necessary. It made me feel weird and I tried to reign in the anger still present and the lust I felt toward her. I changed into a black shirt and soft pants to sleep in. I wasn't going to sleep with her, I knew she didn't want that; didn't want _me_.   
I creeped into my room and saw her curled on one side of the bed, fast asleep, and I longed to join her and take her into my arms.   
I left the room in disappointment and settled into a couch in my seating area. I could see the faint glow from a moon out of the expansive windows lining the opposite wall and I stared off for a while, knowing sleep would be difficult. I drifted in and out of consciousness, images of Arema in my bed running through my mind the entire time.


	19. Arema

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The smut is here. They finally do sex as promised xD   
> Please forgive me, this is my first time writing a story in general, much less smut. So hang in there for me. There will be more, because let's be honest, Kylo Ren is a fox.

I woke up suddenly, not knowing where I was, and the morning light cut in through the large wall sized window.   
The events of the previous night rushed back to my mind and I clutched the blankets around me.   
_I'm in Kylo Ren's bed_ , I thought.   
I looked around me, incredulous.   
Where was he?  
I suddenly grew fearful. He had left me to go talk to Hux, I knew it, and I was terrified what the outcome had been.   
I slid to the side of the bed and got down, slowly padding my way across the cold floor to the door. I opened it slowly and peered into the main room.   
He wasn't there.   
No way he had slept next to me so where had he gone?  
I walked out and searched the entirety of his home but was met with only the sound of my own breathing.   
I went back and sat in the chair I had occupied last night.   
I noticed a flicker of color drawing my attention to his table and there sat an orange. I smiled.   
I walked over and grabbed it, peeling it while I studied the landscape outside the window.   
I wanted to go back to my place but I was too nervous to leave and I knew Kylo would want me to stay put.   
I hung out for a good hour, going through his collection of books, before he finally returned.   
I was seated with a book on the history of other planet civilizations when he strolled in, stopping in his tracks when he saw me.   
"I can leave," I finally spoke.   
"No. I'm not comfortable with that yet," he responded.   
I shut the book and he went into his bathroom, emerging a few moments later with his simple black t-shirt and pants again.   
He was so handsome. His body was lean and strong and I couldn't stop myself from staring.   
He sat across from me again and I studied his brown eyes.   
"Where did you go?" I asked.   
"I had a couple debriefings this morning."  
"What about training?"  
"No training today," he replied. "Consider it your day off."  
I smiled and then my face fell.  
"What did you do?"  
He knew what I meant.   
"Nothing happened, Arema."  
I rolled my eyes and tried again. "What did you do, Kylo?"  
He thrummed his fingers on the armrest of his chair.   
"I simply ensured that Hux would not bother you again," he stated. "I also made it clear that Louie stays."  
I nodded. I was so uncomfortable.   
"Thank you for the orange," I said finally.   
"If you're still hungry I can go get you something. How long have you been awake?"  
"About an hour. I'm fine, thank you. Am I to stay here again?"  
He pursed his lips. "I would like you to just in case, honestly."  
I accepted with a nod.   
"I need to go talk to Louie though," I said.   
"I will take you to him then."  
I raised an eyebrow.   
"Wow. I like when you do what you're told," I taunted.   
He let out loud and pure laugh, and the sound was intoxicating.   
"I like when you don't argue with me," he said leaning forward.   
The look on his face made me lose my breath. It was flirtatious and borderline sexy. I suddenly wanted to join him in his chair but I refrained.

Kylo took me to see Louie and I spent the rest of the day with him. We talked about what happened and I embraced him so many times that I ended up resting in his arms. He was a comfort. I told him that Kylo had defended him and he had been surprised. I knew my mentor trusted my friend, taking the chance on leaving me alone with him for so long.   
"You like him," Louie said at one point.   
I bristled in embarrassment.   
"No I don't. He's so infuriating. He's impossible."  
He smiled, "and you like him."  
"I don't know what to do, Louie."  
He gave my shoulder a squeeze and he looked almost forlorn. "Do whatever feels right."

I returned to Kylo's room in the evening after a quick detour to grab some clothes from my room. What he didn't know wouldn't hurt him. When I arrived he left to go get us food and he returned with two trays. We sat at the table and ate in awkwardness.   
"How's Louie doing?" He asked in his deep, natural voice.   
My gaze lingered on his mouth.   
"He was good. He's thankful for your defense."  
He just nodded.   
I stood and went to throw away my trash at the same time he did. We stood in front of each other and froze. He reached forward and grabbed my trash from me and threw it out for me.   
I muttered a thanks and he came back over to where I stood.   
He was so tall and I had to look up into his face. My lips parted and he drew his gaze to them. He looked like he wanted to say something, but held it back instead.   
I was aware of the similarity of events having to do with tables and I blushed.   
He pulled himself forward and our bodies were almost touching. I sighed and looked over the exposed skin of his arms and the way his shirt fell over his chest.   
"Am I allowed to touch you?" I asked.   
He jumped slightly in surprise and he closed the distance, lightly pushing himself against me.   
His hands rested on my hips and I drew in a shaky breath.   
His head came down to settle beside mine, his mouth by my ear.   
"Please," he whispered.   
My mouth widened with lust.   
He began to kiss my neck, starting below my ear and making his way down to my collar bone, causing me to gasp and bring my hands to his waste.   
His hands moved from my hips, exploring my body, and I let him. He moved slowly, unsure, and continued to move his lips up my neck, grazing my skin with his teeth.   
His hands moved up my waste and around my breasts and I wanted more than anything for him to keep them there. One came up to cradle the other side of my neck and I pulled him into me more, wanting to be as close as humanly possible.   
He found my lips with his then, and I sighed into his kiss, exploring him with my tongue.   
I could feel his desire, mentally and physically.   
I brought my hand up to run it through the back of his hair and I pulled lightly at the roots, causing him to groan.   
"Kylo.." I sighed.   
He pulled away. "I'm sorry," he said quickly.   
"No. I don't want you to stop," I said looking him in the eye.   
I shifted out of the position I was in and he looked confused. I grabbed his hand and traced the fine lines over it, lacing my fingers with his and pulled him lightly.   
He hesitated before following me and I led him into his bedroom, shock written plainly on his face.   
I backed him against the bed and he sat down, his eyes searching my face.   
My breathing grew heavy and I wanted him now more than ever. I stood over him and placed my legs on either side of him, lowering myself onto his lap and his eyes blew wide with need as he looked into mine.   
"I want you," I whispered, placing my lips over his.   
He let out a groan and grabbed onto my legs. I could feel every emotion flitting through him and I'd never felt him so unsure of himself before.   
I kept my lips hovered just in front of his and moved my hips over him, grinding slowly over his desire for me.   
His eyes closed with pleasure and his hands tightened, breath labored.   
"Say it again," he finally spoke.   
I smiled against his mouth.   
I kept up the slow movement on him, only moving my hips.   
I moved my mouth and placed it against his ear. "I want you," I whispered again.   
I could feel his entire body flex and his hands went from my legs to pull my face to his in an instant, biting my lip and pulling me down into him.   
I resisted the urge to moan and I let out a chuckle and pulled away instead. He looked at me, confused again.   
I allowed a smile to pull at my features and I grabbed the bottom of my shirt and pulled it over my head, tossing it behind me. He drew in a breath.   
I unsnapped my bra and let it fall to the floor.   
He took in struggled breaths and allowed his eyes to study my body.   
I reached down and pulled his shirt over his head and he obliged by lifting his arms.   
His body was perfect. I ran my hand over the length of his chest and torso and he watched me.   
I grabbed his hand and brought it to my waste, sliding it up for him to cup one of my breasts. He froze.   
I kissed him again and he kissed back. I could feel him get harder and it turned me on even more. I continued my slow torturous grind over him and squeezed the hand over my breast. He regained composure and ran his hand over the erect nipple there, using his other hand to rest on my hip in its movement.   
I pushed him down so that he was laying on his back. I continued to straddle him and leaned down to run the tip of my tongue up the length of his stomach and chest, up his neck, and ending on his mouth once more. He shuddered beneath me and I couldn't hold it any longer.   
I sat up and undid his pants, his gaze locked on me the entire time. He kicked them off the rest of the way and I pulled out his erection, feeling the size and length of it in my hand, and I let a rushed breath escape me.   
His mouth was parted and his came out in heavy gasps.   
He mouthed something but I couldn't tell what.   
I stood and removed the rest of my clothes. He sat up on his elbows and his expression was full of need. I got back over him and he stayed in his half up position and I straddled him, teasing him by placing him at my entrance.   
He cocked an eyebrow and his confidence shot up.   
He flew back up into a sitting position and grabbed my hips over him. "Don't tease me," he growled.   
I bit my lip and smiled. "Then take me," I murmured.   
He shoved me down onto him and I gasped from his size and the immediate sensation of pleasure.   
I brought myself up and lowered back down on him slowly and his grip tightened.   
I let out a moan and I quickened my pace, moving up and down on his length and he lowered his mouth to my chest, kissing and sucking every inch, taking a nipple into his mouth.   
I sighed his name and he flexed up into me, causing me to dig my nails into his back. He gasped and bit me and I threw my head back and sucked in a breath.   
Our movements became rough and I could feel him grip harder.   
He grabbed my shoulders and flung me onto my back, placing himself over me. My control was gone and I was his.   
He shoved himself into me and I gripped the bedding around me.   
He grabbed my hands with one of his and placed them over my head, his other hand still on my hip, holding me in place while he pulled and pushed himself inside me.   
He kissed me roughly.   
"Tell me you're mine," he said against my mouth.   
I tried to move and gain back my control but he had me. I smiled a malicious smile.   
I took his bottom lip between my teeth and pulled.   
"Make me," I taunted.  
His lips curled and he pulled out of me, placing himself just outside my entrance and teasing me. I tried to push myself up onto him but he held me down with the hand on my hip. I couldn't handle it and I silently pleaded for him, but he remained strong.   
"I'm yours," I growled.   
He let out a groan and pushed into me harder, making me moan loudly.  
He kept his steady rhythm and I wanted to touch him but he still had my hands.   
He kissed me again and again, moving over from my lips to my jaw and neck, down to my breasts again.   
I couldn't think straight. For someone so unsure and inexperienced, he had me begging silently to myself.   
His breathing became ragged and he let go of my hands and brought his to cup my face.   
I moved the one on my hip over to my clit, beckoning him to touch me more. His thumb circled me slowly and I could feel myself climb.   
When I reached my climax I didn't keep my pleas to myself and I begged him aloud, his thrusts becoming more ragged.   
I could feel when he released, and he gripped onto me tighter than before, settling his forehead on mine and pulling in ragged breaths.   
We sat like that for a few minutes before he moved and settled himself beside me, pulling me into his arms.   
I had never felt so euphoric or safe than I did then. I reveled in the smell of his skin and the feel of his chest heaving, and we fell asleep that way, neither of us having any trouble falling into a deep unconsciousness.


	20. Kylo Ren

I was half aware of Arema's sleeping form curled next to me the following morning. My half conscious state didn't allow me to take in the entire situation just yet and I was lulled in and out of sleep for minutes, the sound of her breathing providing a warm blanket of comfort. I was faintly certain that I still had no clothes covering myself and my hand subconsciously reached out to slide along the contour of her body, shoulder to hip, confirming that she didn't either.   
I rolled to face her and my eyes slid open slowly, taking their time against the sharp morning light coming through my window.   
She slept soundlessly, her breath inhaling with even pulls and pushing out in serenity, a small smile playing on her beautiful features.   
I felt content and an intense warmth wash over me, being as soft as I could to lightly push a strand of dark hair away from her face.   
Her lips twitched in reaction and I resisted the urge to encircle her in my arms once more and not let her leave the safety of my covers.   
I found I could freely probe her mind in this state and she was dreaming of Hux. I reigned in the instant anger that washed over me like a tidal wave, tugging and pushing at me in an attempt to pull me in.   
I re-entered her subconscious and saw the reason for the unknown satisfaction playing on her face. I was standing behind her, my hand on her hip and my nose in her hair while she slowly brought the life out of the General. The darkness surrounding her was palpable, emanating from her like a thick mist of evil and sick desire.   
I pulled back and resisted the need to gasp in astonishment. It made me both satisfied and worried at once, the ever present flicker of light in me wanted to shed her of the evil she was committing. The stronger and much larger part of me was sadistically satisfied, my lust for her growing stronger, knowing she was dreaming but most likely capable of this strength in the darkness.   
I shoved the concern away. The only part of the light that tempted me was the growing adoration and care I held for this woman. I battled it constantly and it was the source for most of my bouts of anger, feeding a need in me that was much stronger than the light. I kept myself angry to do just this, I lashed out, damaged things, and kept my reputation as a ruthless killer for a reason. The anger satiated the appetite of the ever present darkness.  
I had never put thought into her needs as within the dark side. I always assumed that while she held extreme potential for power, maybe it wasn't in her or what she wanted, that maybe her anger stemmed purely from her annoyance with myself or Hux. I could see now that these things only fueled it further. She had a natural evil deep inside her that hungered for release, the feel and need to do things that the First Order and Supreme Leader Snoke would only succeed and revel in.   
It scared me for a moment, my fear having always been a nuisance bubbling beneath the surface, coming to fruition only when I found myself in compromising situations such as wanting her more than she wanted me. The flicker of light within me wanted to be hurt that she dreamed of such power and it desired to keep her innocence for as long as possible and bring her into me, to console both of us.   
It had always been there, a constant thorn in my side, but grew ever present the minute I brought her on as my apprentice and I began battling my desires for her. I knew passion fueled the darkness but maybe this sort of passion weakened it.   
The ever strong evil within me smiled the most cynical of expressions, knowing that I had found this most precious tool for the dark side and I had taught it to wield power. A sensation washed over me thinking about her dream and the pleasure she drew from it, in turn fueling mine.   
I battled with the desire to kiss her or exert my dominance over her all at once.   
I thought of what happened the previous night, the feel of her hips moving in rhythm over me and the control she so obviously had. It consumed every fiber of my being and I wanted to relent to her, I had never been more unsure of myself in my entire existence. I didn't know what to do with myself, I was pulled different ways by both lust and uncertainty, for my inexperience in the subject gave me away instantly.   
She was the leader, calming me and bringing my desires to the hot surface of my skin.   
The instant I felt myself give way to her I had regained control, wanting more than ever to make it known to her that she was mine and no one else's. I didn't belong to her, she belonged to me. I had taken her, I had taught her to wield the force with beauty, I had rescued her from compromising situations; she was mine.   
It was a literal example of the two battling sides of myself. The light reminded me that I had never done this before, never had a woman in my personal quarters, telling me she wanted me and it allowed her natural dominance to take control, bending myself to her.   
The darkness had ignited, it's flames licking just beneath the surface and burning out any and all light, launching me into the dominance I didn't know I'd harbored when it came to this sort of thing. Any sign of lack of confidence was shut out and I had made her tell me she was mine, taking full control, part of it being out of jealousy for her other suitor, and the other part of me craving total ownership of her.   
Dark and light.   
Love and lust.

I was aware of the slow opening of her liquid silver eyes, pulling me out of my deep contemplation and I turned to her once more, letting her features drag me in and shut out all my confidence. I resisted the urge to groan when her smile widened and I knew I was in trouble. I knew I would never be able to fully grasp a handle of myself around her and she may have been mine, but what she would never know was that I was also very much hers first.   
It had taken weeks for her to feel something for me other than hate, while I knew she was all I craved the second I saw her.   
The control she had over me without so much as a second thought would not wane easily, and I felt myself grow uncertain again. In all things I was her leader, I commanded and dominated her effortlessly, but when it came to the bedroom or my feelings for her, she was queen.

I returned her smile, feeling nervous and shy to be in such a compromising state. She inched closer to me and I couldn't take it any longer, reaching out and grabbing her to pull her into me.   
"Good morning," she murmured into my neck.   
"We need to train today," I replied.   
She groaned. "Are you sure that's wise? Because I know _my_ concentration is gone and I fully intend to steal yours."  
My stomach flipped.   
"We have to concentrate, Arema," I could feel her lust for me and I was cut off of all words when she started kissing my neck, taking her time and pulling my skin into her mouth.   
My breathing grew heavy and I tried to explore her body with my hands but they shook embarrassingly, reiterating the fact that as much as I was powerful and in control of all things, this was an area I was unfamiliar with.   
I could feel her smile against my neck and she took my hand lightly in hers and guided it for me, taking her time and ensuring our hands moved painstakingly slow over her chest and hips.   
It drove me crazy. My fear was a constant nagging sensation and her complete confidence in what she was doing made me feel slightly insubstantial. I suddenly wondered how many times she'd done this before, and with whom.   
It spurred on my anger and I could feel the sudden pull that I had felt last night, a need to make her mine and show her that I owned her in all ways. Her movements became vicious and the feeling that had taken me was transferred to her, her acute sense of emotions moving her along at a quicker pace.   
I took the chance to push myself into her mind and saw nothing but darkness and desire, and it reigned mine in for a moment. Something was changing within her and while I wanted nothing more than to make it known that I was in charge, I couldn't.   
My entire being radiated the side I had chosen, my path and passion toward becoming a master of the force under the direction of Snoke, but when I got close to this woman her nearness seemed to chip away at my need to be feared. I wanted to be feared. I was feared, but not by her, and in that moment I realized that allowing my emotions and desires for her to come forth had weakened me. I was still the strong force wielding epitome of everything dark, but opening myself to her as I had done had allowed a light and passion that I had never experienced before.   
I pulled away from her then, and the confusion was ever clear upon her face. I needed to speak with Snoke, and I needed to know that my feelings for her wouldn't be a hindrance.   
I needed to know that it would be acceptable to completely open myself to this person and still be the great leader I was.

I left her in my bed, mumbling that I had forgotten about a last minute meeting with the supreme leader and training would be cancelled once more. The look on her face just about broke me and as I got dressed and left the room I could hear her try and control her ragged breathing.   
I made my way to the large room Snoke's hologram appeared in, my pace quick and I extended my legs further.   
I entered the room without hesitation and as always he could sense my presence, his form slowly appearing before me.   
"Kylo Ren. I did not summon you, what's the meaning of this?"  
I gathered my courage.   
"I apologize for the brash interruption, supreme leader. I had a pressing matter that I thought important to address with you first."  
His form shifted slightly, pushing me to go on.   
"It's seems as though I've found myself in a difficult situation....with my apprentice."  
"Go on," he said slowly.   
I found it difficult to put together the words I needed to not sound as weak as I felt.   
"I can't deny that over the course of our partnership I've seemed to develop feelings for her deeper than that of a mentor."  
I stopped abruptly and audibly swallowed.   
"End it," came his voice simply.   
I stood in silence.   
"Do these feelings lead you astray of the darkness, Kylo Ren?"  
I thought for a moment.   
"Supreme leader, if I may be so bold, I feel as though given that passion fuels the dark side, maybe these feelings will only further our strength as a unit."  
Snoke scoffed.   
"Do you forget the trials and tribulations your grandfather before you beheld with his own love quarrels?"  
I hadn't. It was an ever present thought in the back of my mind, the most iconically feared man in the galaxy, my predecessor and grandfather, the inspiration for all that I'd done.   
"Is it possible to harness this passion into the darkness? I was able to gauge her emotions and while she is supremely led by anger and hate, it seems as though when I'm close to her, her feelings expand themselves into a darkness that can only further her power."  
He seemed to weigh my answer thoughtfully.   
"I have yet to meet this woman, the one who occupies both yours and General Hux's affections. Yes I am well aware, Ren. I'll need to speak with her finally, my curiosity is ever peaked and based on your updates she has come a long way with much success."  
I let out a breath.   
"Today, Kylo Ren. Bring her along with yourself. This is an issue that can so quickly break all you have worked for. You claim that her possible affections may boost her into greatness, however you didn't touch base on yourself. If you feel that this pull for her is hindering your abilities to see the dark clearly, it must end."  
With that he disappeared, and I stood in silence for a moment attempting to steady the sudden pound of my heart. Arema would meet Snoke. Today.


	21. Arema

The previous night had started a fire in me, it's burning embers alighting me with desire for both Kylo and power and I found that it was hard to separate the two.   
I found a sultry joy in the fact that he seemed to not know what he was doing and it was a great pleasure to feel like I had a control over him for once, however he had countered.   
At some point our actions had unfrozen him from his nerves and he'd taken complete control, teasing and forcing me to give ownership of myself to him.   
A sick twisted desire in me loved it, wanting him to exert dominance over me further, but another part of me, a much darker part, wanted to resist. I wanted to take ownership of _him_.  
It felt much like a tingling sensation, thousands of little needle pricks, and I knew this was the force strengthening in and around me.   
I had awoken to his touch and I needed it now more than ever, the needles bunching and gathering around me to coalesce into a need that was much greater than the previous night.   
He was beautiful and dark, his uncertainty only pushing me more in my haste to have him.

He had pulled away and left to go see Snoke. It was almost like waking up from a dream and I snapped to reality, riddled with hurt and defense. I decided now was the time to return to my quarters, gathering myself and controlling my breathing so I could relax once more. I yearned for him and power. I wanted the power I felt when I was with him.

I took a trip to go grab food and was shocked at the level at which the thoughts of those passing by me practically shoved their way into my mind. It was intoxicating and a nuisance all at once. I rounded on each person in confusion, before I had to purposely enter one's mind and now it seemed that everyone was screaming their thoughts into my head, driving me to the brink of insanity.   
I returned to my room in a hurry and when I waved my door closed it slammed shut wildly. My eyes widened and I felt a release and fear mix in my moment of confusion. I sat down and ate in silence, wondering what was happening to me.   
I tried to pull back my abilities and focused my mind on the clock sitting to the side of my bed. Before I could so much as move my hand the wireless digital contraption flew at me with such force that I had to duck my head as it flew over me and crashed into the wall behind me, shattering into pieces.   
My fear grew and I smiled. I was scared and almost turned on by what I had just done.

I paced around my room for close to an hour, not so much as stretching an arm out or putting supreme thought into the items that flew toward me carelessly. I was getting better at only moving my hand from its position by my side to catch whatever item I brought to me.   
I tried using forward force now, moving things away from me in a defensive move.   
I threw my hand out in front of me and my dresser slammed into the wall behind it, rattling its drawers into half open positions from the sheer force of its hit. I brought my palms up to my face and studied them, my fingers shaking from the shock of the power I'd just exuded.   
I could feel the force surrounding and running through me like a blanket of an almost electric current, like someone took the tips of their fingers and ran them slowly down my bare arms, its particles tingling down and through my fingertips.   
I had to talk to Kylo, while it was a seductive temptress of power, it was instilling a distinct fear within me.

I left my room at a run, praying to anything that he was back at his, and I ran head first into the form of general Hux, his eyes downcast. He looked up at me with widened eyes and we both froze, eyes on each other, stuck in time. He attempted a half smile and his thoughts shoved their way into my head. He was sorry for what he'd done and the initial sight of me had scared him after his confrontation with Kylo. He wanted so badly to reach forward and touch my cheek but he knew it wouldn't end well.   
"Hux," I muttered.   
"Arema," he said in a strained voice. "Excuse me. Sorry," he muttered as he shifted his weight to move around me.   
He practically ran off and I continued my swift pace toward my destination.

Before I arrived at Kylo's room I threw my hand out and his door flew open with such force that the surrounding troopers and employees in the area turned in awe.   
I could feel his presence, emanating and reaching for me in strong tendrils. He had been pacing and when the door opened his helmeted head flew up and he braced.   
"Arema," came his distorted voice in a swift baritone.   
"Kylo something is wrong."  
He cocked a head but didn't question. "We must go meet with Snoke. Now. He wishes to speak with you."  
My stomach flipped and I felt bile try to force its way up my throat. I wasn't ready, and I was scared.   
"Now?" I choked.   
He simply nodded and I felt his apprehension.   
He reached out a hand and I practically launched for him, grabbing it forcefully and he jumped from the shock that went through the both of us. I gasped and looked at him, confused.   
"Now. Let's go."  
He moved toward the open door with a swift movement, his dark cloak billowing behind him in a wave and I struggled to maintain his long legged pace.

We arrived at the door that would inevitably lead me to the man or entity or whatever the supreme leader was. My palms began to sweat as we entered and kept our pace over a long walkway. The room was gargantuan and my head swiveled to either side to take in the eerie surroundings. I felt a chill creep into my being. Before we could pull to a stop, a huge holographic image faded into view and I was met with a scarred and almost disfigured complexion. The huge figure that was Supreme Leader Snoke was nothing short of impressive and I felt myself gasp, my eyes drawn directly to his. Kylo placed his hands clasped beside his back beside me, a position of relaxation, but I could feel his nerves beside me.   
Snoke peered down at me, taking me in.  
I lowered myself into a low sweeping bow and I felt Kylo's head twitch toward me in response to my gesture.   
"We meet at last, Arema," came a booming sinister voice.   
The pure sound of it sent shockwaves through me and a specific feeling of power that automatically diminished all fears I once held.   
"Supreme Leader," I nodded.   
"Your beauty has not been an exaggeration by any means, my young apprentice."  
A deep pleasure swept over me. "And who might have made these claims master?" I asked with a smile and a nod in Kylo's direction. He shifted uncomfortably.   
"Your charm has won the affections of many, I'm well aware."  
I smiled and a warmth washed over me. He continued.   
"You are here not only because I've needed to meet you for some time now. I had originally intended to meet you sooner. Kylo Ren has come to me with an issue he deems to be a possible hindrance on your relationship as apprentice and mentor."  
I looked over at my teacher in confusion.   
"Ah. This clearly hasn't occurred to you," he snarled toward Kylo. "It seems as though he harbors a certain affection for you, love if you will," before he could continue I turned fully toward the Ren and gaped openly, my mouth and eyes widening, but he didn't so much as shift a muscle in my direction.   
"Supreme leader, if I may," I started.   
He nodded an approval.   
"Until recently I'd held only hate and annoyance for my trainer, he can be quite stubborn and sometimes impossible," he spit out a laugh and I continued. "It seems as though our closeness in training has brought something else with it, a passion of sorts. I feel my emotions grow stronger daily, my anger increasing and my fear of the unknown lessening. Just before arriving I had gone to Kylo Ren to address something that stirred within me only this morning. It seems as though I can purely feel the force running through me, a light veil covering and flowing through and around me. I wish to gain strength more than ever. I feel awake."  
Kylo chose not to remain stoic this time and his head whipped in my direction, I could feel him gaping beneath his helmet.   
"I wish to serve the dark side and you, my Supreme Leader, more than ever," I finished.   
Snoke seemed to probe my entire being, bringing forth a memory to himself, a dream, that I'd had the previous night and had forgotten about. I was draining the life out of Hux, while Kylo stood behind me seductively, fueling the fire and darkness in me to complete my task. His mouth arched into a distorted smile.   
"I see," he stated. "And what of your feelings for your mentor?"  
I didn't need to think about it and I chose not to filter my thoughts.   
"I crave him, my master. I feel as though the closer I am to his presence the stronger I grow, it's intoxicating and dizzying. I only started to feel this extreme connection as of recent. I crave the power the darkness can bring and I grow passionate for it."  
Kylo shifted beside me.   
Snoke turned his attention to Kylo. "It seems as though her passions for you are that of lust, they have opened an entirely new strength in her. I can feel her power surrounding her and the force within the dark side is strong. Whereas she has gained momentum further into this, showing just a trace of her possible power, you seem to be withdrawn, my apprentice. It seems as though your closeness to her has formed your emotions into love, dragging the light from deep within you. While she has furthered her passions into dark, yours has taken you on a different path. Your passions are that of feelings contained in the light."  
I lost my breath. Did he love me? Did _I_ love _him_?   
I didn't know what love was. I knew I wanted him, needed him. I needed to feel his touch and presence, surround myself in it.   
Snoke spoke once more, pulling me from my thoughts. "This connection can only gain you both strength, if you can look past personal feelings, Kylo Ren. You both are dismissed. I expect an update soon from both of you. Separately."  
He was gone. We both stood there in silence, my breath labored and his heart audibly pounding. Maybe it wasn't so audible as it was that my senses were heightened now.

We returned to his room and he shut the door behind us. I stood in confidence but confusion, waiting for him to remove his helmet, _needing_ him to remove it.   
"Kylo-"  
"We will resume training as per usual tomorrow," he cut me off.   
I stayed rooted to my spot.   
"How many lovers had you taken before me?" I asked.   
He visibly jolted, taken off guard by my invasive question.   
"What does that have to do with anything?"  
I narrowed my eyes and the flames sparked beneath the surface of my skin, the tingling in my body coming to life once more.   
He removed his helmet suddenly, with such speed that I didn't expect it.   
"What's going on with you, Arema?"  
I licked my lips.   
"I'm powerful," I said, my eyes flashing.   
"You were always powerful. This is different. I can't decide if I hate it or if it makes me want to unleash every fiber of force within me," he said.   
"The first thing you said before taking me was that I would be powerful. Your efforts are coming to fruition. Do you love me?"  
His beautiful features gathered on his face and he looked angry and pained.   
"How many lovers, Kylo?" I repeated.   
He leveled his features and said simply, "the Knights of Ren do not encourage romantic relationships."  
"So none?" I said blatantly. His silence confirmed.   
I had never put thought into whether I was the first or one of many of his endeavors and suddenly his uncertainty with me made sense. He _didn't_ know his way around a woman.  
I shifted uncomfortably.   
"Do you love me as Snoke said?" I asked carefully.   
"How many have you taken?" He countered.   
"You are one of few," I responded.   
I could see the anger grow on his features and I blanched, my own anger flaring.   
"Is this a distraction to you?" I practically yelled.   
I probed his mind for something but was met with a wall.   
He turned and sat down, slouching in defeat.   
"The dark side is fueled by hate, anger, fear, and passion. I assumed this sort of thing fell under the last. I find myself conflicted. All at once I want to be gentle and I'm scared by your experience compared to mine, but I feel the comfort of darkness shortly after, making me want to control you and feeling strengthened by it."  
I narrowed my eyes. "Is this why you made me tell you I was yours?"  
"I didn't make you do anything!" He yelled, anger rising.   
"You teased me until I said it!" I matched his vocal level.   
He growled and launched himself forward, grabbing onto my shoulders and lowering his face to mine. The heat traveled between my thighs.   
"You _are_ mine," he whispered menacingly and gave my body a tug.   
I could see his dilemma now. He was conflicted between his feelings for me, beckoning the light deep within him, but his natural ability toward anger and control was much stronger.   
I flung my hand out and released a bolt of the power I had displayed earlier on my dresser and he dropped my shoulders, surprise followed by anger washing over his face.   
He merely flicked his wrist and I was sent flying back toward the chairs we'd once occupied. Despite my influx in power, he was still much stronger. The heat between my legs flared and I could feel the darkness take over my features. He was shaking with rage and he snarled sadistically.  
"I belong to no one. Only the dark side," I spoke with confidence.   
His pupils dilated in arousal.   
"I am the dark side," he said. "You belong to me."  
A slow smile crept over me.   
"Then make me belong to you."


End file.
